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akiruchanTitle: The Devil's Canvas
Chapter: 38 (part one)/?
Authors: Akiru chan & Disgruntled Minion
Pairing/Characters: Sebastian/Ciel
Rating: M
Summary: Ciel's skin was marred with ink and blood, telling tales twisted in darkness. What an evil path the devil walks, tainted hands staining the innocent canvas. For the most beautiful art is painted in blood.
Warnings: Violence, adult content, yaoi, and language
Chapter Thirty-Eight
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Sebastian stated as he looked at Bard. His eyes swept over Bard’s body, checking for anything on the other male that might prove to be dangerous. There was nothing binding him to the cage and the security seemed rather lax, all things considering.
Bard scoffed. “Yeah well, you try being stuck in this cage for a while without a bath.” He shook his head and tried to scratch at his neck, finding his path impeded. “I smell pretty bad and you know what they say about odors.”
Sebastian froze and pulled Ciel back. “You’re sporting some new bling,” Sebastian murmured. “Where’d you get it?”
There was a shrug. “It was a gift from my new friends.” Bard looked at him, eyes pleading. “Do you know what it is, boss?”
Ciel looked confused as well, and shot a look to Sebastian for answers. From the look on the older man’s face, it was nothing good. He swallowed and found it within himself to give Bard what he hoped would be an uplifting smile.
“I have an idea,” Sebastian muttered and then raised his voice slightly. “How bad do you think you smell?”
Bard forced a laugh. “Pretty bad; enough to knock someone out. Although the flies don’t seem to mind it.”
Sebastian frowned and his eyes darted around the tent. Bard was speaking in code, that much he was sure of. The captured man was subtly telling them that their enemy was still there, no doubt hidden somewhere in the very same tent they were in. And if that were the case, they’d have a fight on their hands.
The whole conversation made little sense to Ciel. It didn’t seem the most important of things to be discussing at the moment, but he didn’t comment. He knew that despite everything, the words passed between Bard and Sebastian were important and he listened. Ciel knew well enough that now was not the time for such questions.
A hand tightened around Ciel’s waist and Sebastian pulled him closer. He squeezed the wrist lightly before trailing down to tap Ciel’s pointer finger, telling him to be on guard. “We need to get him out of here,” Sebastian murmured but his eyes focused once more on the collar like item around Bard’s neck.
It was either a tracking device or a bomb that would go off if Bard left the circus. This gang was known for their bomb work and Sebastian wouldn’t put it past them to create such a device.
Blue eyes flew to the lock holding the cage door shut soundly. “How are we going to get past that?” Ciel asked in a quiet tone. He was once again on edge and did not know exactly what was going on. Despite all his training and experience, Ciel was once more reminded of how much he still didn’t know and understand.
“Pick it,” Sebastian answered. “We can’t shoot it without sounding out our location.” He took a step forward, looking for any wire traps or switches that could trigger something. The back of his neck pricked and he had a feeling that they were being watched, but their watchers were hidden out of sight.
Pick it? Of course Ciel would be asked to pick it. He had only been taught once, and by a frustrated and bitching Grell. Ciel hummed his discontent and moved forward to study the make of the lock. It seemed to be a typical Master lock, and Ciel quickly scrounged around in his pockets for something to use. He plucked out a few tools that were more or less protocol to carry and got to work.
Sebastian watched Ciel work, frowning as he did so. It was all too easy. Bard could’ve picked the lock if he wanted to and then tried to fight off his attackers or even sneak away. Their enemy must have known that and Sebastian scowled, knowing that Bard was indeed being used as bait.
The lock clicked open and Ciel pushed open the door. From inside the cage, Bard looked happy and crawled forward to exit the metal prison. “Great. Now if we can just get out of here, I’ll be happy.”
“We need to figure out how to get that off you,” Sebastian stated. “Or all this will have been for...” he trailed off as a red dot appeared on Bard’s forehead and he spun around, gun drawn.
“Shit.” Ciel spun around on his knees, gun being drawn in time with Sebastian. It wasn’t surprising to see the two men standing right where Ciel had dropped the umbrella. The one holding the gun was a hefty man, and Ciel didn’t feel up to taking on the man hand to hand. The other one was much similar to Ciel in build, although shorter. He reminded Ciel of Finny in some ways, except for the lack of light and happiness within his eyes. This man looked cruel where Finny was only innocence.
“Appears the party is finally getting underway,” Ciel mumbled and stood, tight smile on his face. It looked like their smooth sailing had come to an end.
“Neither of them are trained on Bard,” Sebastian mused softly to Ciel as the younger male moved closer. “They have a sniper on him. So even if we both take down these guys, they’ll still shoot Bard.”
Sebastian turned his attention towards the men watching them carefully. “You know who we are, but my partner and I still don’t know your names. Common courtesy dictates that you give us your names.”
The smaller of the two men smiled and looked half amused. “What a shame. You’ve gotten this far and you don’t even know who we are? Surely you could fathom a guess.” The man flicked out a knife from somewhere on his person and tossed it lightly into the air.
“I would guess that you’re Dagger,” Sebastian stated, his eyes watching the knife spin in the air. He itched to shoot the weapon out his hands, but he quelled the urge.
“Very good! You’re not too much of a pillock after all.” The man seemed to brighten until he turned to his company. “Although it seems they don’t know you, Jumbo. How unfortunate.” Jumbo shrugged his tattooed shoulders and didn’t comment much at the remark.
Ciel on his part felt his frown deepen and his finger twitch against the trigger. He’d love to put a bullet into each of their heads, but his main concern was the sniper that remained out of sight. It was hard enough to fathom where they were taking the shot from. The tents didn’t allow for stable support for taking the shot from a high elevation.
Sebastian smiled. “Of course not; we found our way here didn’t we. And besides that, we’re not really interested in such petty people such as yourself. You’re below us.” He shifted his weight, eyes still searching for the sniper’s location. “Besides that, who is the stupid one? You keep demanding something back but you won’t tell us what it is. We’re good, but we’re not good enough to read minds.”
“I guess that answers the question on whether you brought it or not,” Dagger said with an overly exaggerated sigh. “But really it shouldn’t be that hard for you to know. Unless you really do make a habit of taking things that don’t belong to you, but whatever. It doesn’t matter now, I suppose. Now that we have the two of you here, I think it’ll be safe to say Tanaka will be more than eager to return our item without looking too much into it. After all, time will be of the essence.”
“I believe the proper term is ‘spoils of war’,” Sebastian stated. “We’re all guilty of taking something from our enemies after a fight. It’s who we are. If I’m correct, you took someone’s finger a while back and that didn’t belong to you.”
Dagger’s hand waved the accusation away. “That incident had little to do with us directly. The man was an associate, but no one we’ll vouch for.” The knife within the man’s hand began to spin around his fingers as he toyed with it, looking all the more comfortable with the situation despite the guns pointed towards him.
Sebastian stayed silent and watched the motion of the knife. They weren’t getting anywhere with these talks, even though he had a faint idea of what they were looking for. There had been a great deal of items that he had acquired over the year and it could be anything from his collection.
Behind him, Bard shifted and Sebastian could feel Ciel growing more tense with each passing minute. The younger male hadn’t said a word yet and Sebastian didn’t know if Ciel was just assessing the situation or waiting for a moment to say something.
The younger male was poised and ready, not to mention unnerved for what was to come. It would be easy to take out the two men in front of them, but doing so would ensure Bard’s own death. Keeping a sniper trained on their captive had been a smart move on the enemies’ part. A move that Ciel, and most probably Sebastian, was cursing.
“So now that we’ve got things squared away, why don’t you two drop your weapons like good hostages and get into the cage with your little friend.” Dagger smiled viciously as he stared down at Sebastian and Ciel. “I’m sure you three can all fit.”
Sebastian scowled and glanced at Ciel. He had been in worse situations before and had escaped them just fine, but this time he had to think about two other people. They had known this was a trap coming in, but the tide was turning too quickly on them and Sebastian’s mind worked to figure out their options.
They still had their concealed weapons, and they weren’t giving those away unless Dagger took them from him personally. A plan started to form in Sebastian’s mind and he heaved a sigh, not liking it already.
“Fine,” he growled and pulled his arms away from each other.
“What?” Ciel looked rightfully shocked. His stomach turned and his heart raced. Was this really it? Were they going to be held as hostages with little hope of getting out of this alive? Ciel knew how these things worked. The item wanted would be brought but it would not ensure Sebastian’s life, Bard’s life, nor his own.
A pleased look crossed Dagger’s face and he smiled cruelly. “Very good! Now if only you’d be so kind as to unload your guns and toss them and their magazines over here. Wouldn’t want them within your reach, now would we?”
Sebastian smirked. “Unload them? Like this?” His gun pointed to the side and he squeezed the trigger twice, shooting a pile of hay. The gun swung up to meet Dagger. “Or should I unload them into you?”
Neither man looked too pleased with Sebastian’s antics. “Well aren’t you a smartass. But no, if you could be so kind as to remove the magazine from your gun. That would be ideal.” Dagger’s jaw was tight as he spoke, not at all amused.
“Of course,” Sebastian answered as he removed the clip from his gun. His eyes slid to the side, eyeing the slowly growing pool of red that seeped out from the hay. It seemed as though one suspicion had been proven and taken care of.
Ciel hesitated when Dagger’s eyes moved onto him and waited for Ciel to follow Sebastian’s lead. Given no choice, he was forced to follow suit and separate magazine from gun. They both tossed their weapons in front of them at the same time, Dagger going forward to pick them up.
“Very good! Now wasn’t that easy!” The young man’s voice was far too chipper and Ciel was finding it hard not to rush forward and bury his fist into that smiling face. “Now if you’ll be so kind and turn around and stay still. We might as well check you over. Wouldn’t want you trying to hide anything from us.”
“No,” Sebastian stated. “We’ve discarded our weapons and as a good faith gesture, so should you.” It was a last ditch effort to get Dagger to leave the guns behind and help level the playing field. While Sebastian doubted that Dagger would kill them, he didn’t want to chance anything right now.
There was a pause before a booming laugh filled the tent. “That’s rich. Do you take me for a fool? I’m not so dimwitted to think you don’t have more weapons hidden on your body. Now be good boys and turn around, hands in the air.” The knife in Dagger’s hand moved back and forth in a tisk-tisk sort of motion.
Ciel cursed under his breath and slowly complied. He could almost feel the gun on his back and it ate away at his nerves. There had been times when he had been thrown into a life or death situation, but never before had he been so unarmed. If only he could reach one of his knives or perhaps his hidden gun.
Silence filled the tent as Sebastian turned around, keeping eye contact with Bard. The man would watch their backs and tell them if anything dangerous was coming their way. They were both on high alert; not only were they defenseless, but there was still a red dot on Bard’s forehead.
Sebastian was determined to get them all out. His plan was already put into place and all he needed to do was wait until they came close enough. The cage was already open and once Dagger was behind them, Sebastian could act while Bard moved to safety.
He mouthed a word to Bard, knowing that the other man would understand. It was a simple move for Bard; roll out of the cage and push Ciel to safety and out of line of the sniper fire. Sebastian watched as Bard’s eyes shifted, watching the men behind him and for a brief moment, confusion washed across Bard’s face.
Sebastian’s eyebrow arched in question, wanting to know what was going on. There weren’t any footsteps behind them and it seemed as though they were the only people in the tent. He watched Bard’s face carefully, looking for any hint or clue, but Bard’s face only showed confusion.
Bard’s eyes moved back to his and they locked briefly, as they tried to figure out what was going on. Sebastian’s mouth opened slightly, ready to ask another question when the red dot vanished and Sebastian relaxed slightly before a puff of red escaped the back of Bard’s head and the man slumped down onto the floor of the cage.
The loud crack of the sniper gun echoed across the circus grounds a few seconds later. But it was long enough for blood to start pooling on the floor and for the brain matter on the canvas walls to start sliding down the coarse material.
“What,” Ciel breathed slowly even though he felt like he was choking. His head felt fuzzy and he couldn’t quiet make out what had just happened. Blue eyes trained in on the grizzly sight and a knot formed in the pit of Ciel’s stomach, pushing its contents up his throat.
Finally, footsteps were heard closing in upon then. “Thought I would do you the courtesy of freeing up some space. Now you can stretch your legs.” Dagger’s voice got closer and Ciel felt himself begin to shake as a wetness stained his cheeks. “You took it from us the night you were supposed to die. This is the price of your greed and only more will die until you return what rightfully belongs to us.”
Sebastian blinked once, trying to make the image go away. He had seen people die before; some by his own hand and others who were comrades in the family. But even after seeing hundreds of people die before him, it still didn’t make it any easier.
He tensed as Dagger moved closer and he counted the steps silently. Now wasn’t the time to mourn the death of Bard. That would come after these two were dead. As cruel as it sounded, right now they needed to push Bard out of their minds and focus on their own survival. And then they would extract revenge on these animals.
“I suppose we’ll have to drag the body out for you,” Dagger continued to say. “Just toss him into the dumpster.”
Red clouded Ciel’s vision and his breathing came out erratic and harsh. He couldn’t think of anything aside from making the man behind him pay. At that moment, not even his own life mattered so long as Dagger’s blood coated Ciel’s hands. Ciel saw red and he wanted to see so much more.
Before Sebastian could reign in Ciel’s abrupt reaction, the younger male was falling into a crouch just as he spun on his heel. Shaking hands sought out the gun in Ciel’s boot just as a knife flew down to cut deep into the side of his wrist.
“You fucking bastard!” Ciel cried out. The gun was pulled, despite the blood and pain dripping from his hand. His first shot grazed at Dagger’s shoulder, the aim far off due to Ciel’s clouded rage.
Sebastian tackled Ciel, knocking them both away from the tents entrance. A bullet pierced through the canvas where they had once been standing and Sebastian quickly pulled out his own gun.
The weapon felt small in his hands as it was only a backup, but it was still powerful as he squeezed the trigger at the larger male. He was the most immediate threat as he already had a gun out and ready to fire. They were lucky that his large build kept him from reacting as quickly as his partner had.
A gunshot resounded in the tent and Ciel didn’t bother to see the man called Jumbo fall to the ground with a wound that looked sickeningly like the one Bard had been dealt. Ciel continued to focus his aim on Dagger who was smiling like he was having the time of his life.
“Is that all you’ve got, little heir? Do you need your babysitter to take care of you?” A knife was thrown in Sebastian’s direction to emphasize his point. It was dodged easily and Dagger made no move to seem bothered by it.
Ciel swept forward with his gun and shot once more only to miss altogether. His target cackled and produced four more throwing knives. They were thrown and Ciel didn’t bother to dodge most of them as he rushed forwards with his gun poised and ready.
The action was unexpected by all in the tent, and Ciel shot straight into Dagger’s stomach. The man coughed and slumped to the floor, just as a commotion sounded outside. No doubt they had attracted the missing third person as well as the hidden sniper. Ciel paid no mind, Sebastian could handle them.
Dagger clutched at his wound and looked up at Ciel; for the first time that smile was gone. A shot was placed into the man’s shoulder, Ciel showing no mercy. Screams, along with pleading, filled the tent. It was now that Ciel found himself relishing the begging of his prey. He wanted to hear how helpless they were, how much they wanted to live.
“Beg,” Ciel demanded, and Dagger begged. He begged through every gun shot to his arms, legs, hips, and right up until Ciel had the cold metal of his gun pressed to the man’s temple. “Tell me you want to live.”
“P-please... don’t ki---” Wet splashes hit the ground as scalp, bone and brain fell onto the damp floor. Ciel saw red and he couldn’t help but think that there hadn’t been a prettier color.
Another loud gunshot filled the tent as Sebastian put a bullet in the back of the sniper’s head. He scoffed at the sniper; foolish idiot. He was lucky once and seemed to think that he could take them on by himself, racing down to join the fight without thought.
Sebastian’s head turned slightly, his eyes settling on Bard’s corpse. With a low growl, Sebastian plucked the sniper rifle from the man’s hands and searched the now cooling body of the corpse. A few bullets were found in the man’s pockets and were quickly loaded. Without a word, Sebastian aimed the gun at the sniper’s head and pulled the trigger.
The hollow point bullet tore the man’s head apart, sending bone and flesh across the dirt and hay floor. It was only then that Sebastian felt that some form of revenge had been extracted and he tossed the rifle to the side in disgust.
A hollow clicking sound caught Sebastian’s attention and he turned to look at Ciel. The younger male was still pulling the trigger on his empty gun, hoping in some way that more bullets would push their way into Dagger.
“Ciel,” he called softly and made his way over to the younger male.
Ciel sat nestled close to Dagger’s dead body. His gun was pressed point blank into the corpse. Blood oozed and bubbled around the barrel’s tip from where Ciel had emptied round after round and continued to push the gun in deeper as he pulled the trigger only to hear the empty click.
Without much warning, Ciel pulled the gun back and threw it to the side. His hands came down to his belt and pulled the knife Bard had given him. It snapped open and Ciel brought the sharp metal down into Dagger’s chest over and over again. Tears were now flowing freely from Ciel’s eyes but he couldn’t care. He hurt so much and the only comfort he found was in the mutilation he was currently partaking of.
Sebastian’s hand shot out, quickly grabbing a hold of Ciel’s wrist. He hissed slightly as the knife nicked his hand but ignored it in favor of pulling the knife out of Ciel’s hand. “He’s dead, Ciel,” he stated and pulled the younger male closer. “He’s dead. Nothing you do now is going to make him die anymore or bring Bard back.”
“Bard.” Ciel choked on the name and buried himself into Sebastian’s arms. It couldn’t be. He still hoped to hear Bard’s voice berating him for crying like a baby. Nothing ever came except for Sebastian’s calming words. His hand gripped into Sebastian’s shirt, staining it red. Everything hurt so much and Ciel didn’t know how to deal with it. He had been ready to die, but upon seeing Bard well and alive, Ciel had never played with the idea that it would be the older man to leave this world. And Ciel had not been able to do a thing about it. He could only watch as the bullet had--
No, he couldn’t think about it.
Sebastian’s arms tightened around Ciel’s body. This was the first time Ciel had seen someone close to him die. It never became any easier and each one hurt as much as the first. This was why Sebastian didn’t want to bring Ciel into this world; those blue eyes were now tainted with death and anger.
He couldn’t easily forget the way Ciel had attacked Dagger. It was cold and cruel, letting Ciel vent out all his anger in the only way that was available to Ciel at the time. But it was also dangerous. The younger male hadn’t thought at all before he flew into a blind rage. It was rash and could’ve ended up killing them all.
But now wasn’t the time for such berating. That would have to come later on, after everything today was put to rest. Sebastian glanced up at Bard’s body, hoping that the dirty blond would pop his head up and grin, stating that it was all just a joke. But Sebastian knew that it wouldn’t happen and he sighed; another dead friend to add to the growing list.
“Ciel,” he murmured. “We need to leave now. It’s still dangerous for us here and we need to take Bard home.”
It took all of Ciel’s strength to stand, leaving none left to wipe away his tears. The blank look on his face was betrayed by the still falling tears. His body hurt all over, knife wounds littering him from head to toe. Blood soaked him and it was oddly comforting to think that it was not all his own.
“Let’s go home,” Ciel said as he swayed on his feet. He was looking towards the spot where Bard’s body lay, but not really seeing it. His gaze shot past everything and settled on the background. It was easier that way. Always easier to be blind.
Sebastian led Ciel to the tent’s entrance and pushed the umbrella into the younger males hand. “Wait for me,” he murmured and turned to move back inside the tent. He shed his coat and draped it over Bard’s body, the heat beginning to leave it. With a small grunt, Sebastian lifted Bard’s body up and made his way back to Ciel.
The umbrella was already opened and Sebastian ducked under its protective cover. “Let’s go,” he said simply and they started walking. Silence settled around them, neither wanting to say anything.
Ciel didn’t speak, nor did he look anywhere other than straight ahead of him. His mind was a blank slate as they headed back through the circus, across the street and to the car. The rain kept up its steady pace, no more and no less than what it had been before. The umbrella was snapped close without any warning. Ciel grew soaked but he didn’t care as he quickly climbed into the passenger side, leaving Sebastian out in the rain.
For a moment, Sebastian stood still, unsure of where to put Bard. It seemed degrading to put the man in the trunk, but he would draw attention if he were in the backseat where everyone could see.
Murmuring a small apology for the lack of respect, Sebastian carefully set Bard’s body in the trunk, making sure that the body wouldn’t be jarred around too much on the drive back. The trunk was slammed shut and Sebastian quickly jogged back to the driver’s side, climbing in without hesitation.
Ciel was shaking uncontrollably in his seat. Water and blood soaked into the upholstery, staining it. Most of the cuts and stab wounds had stopped their flows but some blood still poured from Ciel’s body. He didn’t care much; the physical pain was nothing to the mental anguish. Ciel kept trying to berate himself for acting like a child as he broke down and cried. Even now, salty tears fell from his eyes and he didn’t give a fucking damn about it.
Sebastian’s hand reached over to grab Ciel’s as he drove along the rain soaked roads. It would take them about forty minutes to get home but they weren’t in any hurry. The windshield wipers went back and forth in a steady rhythm and the heater helped to push away the chill, even though the warmth didn’t reach the cold down in their bones.
The warmth of Sebastian’s hand was welcomed and Ciel turned his palm up to take hold of it. He gave it a squeeze and sniffed past his tears. Bard wouldn’t have wanted him to cry, and it wasn’t safe to lose one’s self in grief like he had. Thinking back, Ciel knew he had acted rashly. He didn’t regret his actions, but it hadn’t been the smartest of things he had done. Taking a shaky breath, Ciel turned to look at Sebastian sadly.
“Thank you.” His voice was hollow, but he couldn’t muster up enough emotion to count.
Sebastian hummed softly and brought Ciel’s hand up to press a light kiss to it. The younger male was still trembling and Sebastian was already planning on taking Ciel to the parlor tonight so he could stay away from the mansion.
Silence settled in the car once more as the trees flashed by. It seemed like the drive was going by too quickly and that all too soon, they were in familiar territory. The adrenaline that had been ebbing away was now coming back quickly. Sebastian would have to present the body to Tanaka and it wasn’t something he was looking forward to doing.
Once parked, Ciel led himself to stand awkwardly out of the rain on the main porch. He watched Sebastian pull Bard’s body from the trunk, but he had to look away. Despite not being able to see the man’s face, Ciel still knew that he rested beneath Sebastian’s coat. The most Ciel could do was hold the door open and walk slowly behind as they went on towards Tanaka’s office. Not many people were in the halls, but those who they came across froze and looked on in morbid interest.
Tanaka’s office loomed before them and Sebastian slowed down slightly so Ciel could open the door for him. Inside the room, Tanaka looked up at them as the door was open, his eyes instantly settling on the body that rested in Sebastian’s arms.
“Tanaka,” Sebastian said softly as he moved into the room.
The old man stood up, paperwork forgotten. His eyes darted behind Ciel, a brief look of relief filling them at seeing his grandson still alive. The look faded, though, as they settled on the body and Tanaka moved around the desk. “Baldroy?” he asked.
Sebastian nodded. “He was alive when we arrived, but was then cruelly shot by a sniper. All those involved were taken care of; three dead.”
Ciel tried to stay hidden behind Sebastian, not wanting Tanaka to see his eyes puffy from crying or the blood and injuries scattered across his person. The man had enough to worry about; he didn’t need to fuss over Ciel as well. If Ciel had his way, he would be anywhere but in this office at the moment.
A drop of blood dropped from Ciel’s wrist and he vaguely thought of the time that Sebastian had told him that his grandfather disliked bloodstains on his carpet. Those were such easy times, Ciel mused. Everything seemed simple and much more bright. The contrast only helped to make the current situation all the more grim.
“He was a good man,” Tanaka stated, pulling Ciel from his thoughts. “And he will be sorely missed. We’ll prepare a funeral service for him right away and send him away with honor, as is fitting for Baldroy. He deserves it and then some.”
Sebastian inclined his head. “Thank you, Tanaka,” he murmured. The door opened behind them and he turned around to see Grell stepping into the room silently.
“I heard a rumor from someone and came as soon as I could,” he said softly. The redhead padded forward and held out his arms to Sebastian. “May I?” he asked.
Bard’s body was passed over to Grell, the other male taking care not to jostle the body around. Careful eyes looked over the half covered body before turning to regard the other three people in the room. “I’ll take care of him,” Grell said.
A faint nod was given from Ciel in thanks, but the young man had yet to open his mouth. He feared his voice would lack the steady conviction it usually did. The last thing he wanted was to look weak in front of people whom Ciel needed to see him as strong. He sniffed once, but continued to stay quiet and hidden behind Sebastian, even as Grell left and all that remained was Tanaka, Sebastian and himself.
“I’m placing you two on temporary leave. The next week will be stressful with the funeral and coping with such a loss. We’ll continue to search for these people and make them pay for their actions by striking at the heart of this beast,” Tanaka said, his voice firm and hard. “I know it won’t bring Baldroy back, but it’s the least we can do to honor him and it’s what he would’ve wanted.”
Sebastian nodded and gave a small bow, ushering Ciel out as soon as Ciel was standing straight again. They needed to get out of the mansion or go somewhere where no one cared what they did.
“Where are we going?” Ciel finally asked in a quiet voice as he was led away from their room and down the same way in which they came. He became even more confused as they passed the kitchen, not that he thought he could stomach food at the moment.
“To the parlor,” Sebastian answered. It would be better to get Ciel away from the mansion where everyone would be talking about the death. Somewhere where it was just the two of them and no one else. Somewhere Ciel could mourn without worry of what people would think.
For a moment Ciel paused, not quite wanting to leave just yet. There was so much moving, so much happening. His head was spinning and he just wanted to sink to the floor until everything stopped. Having no strength left within himself, Ciel could only allow Sebastian to pull him along and finally to push him back into the car. The seat was still wet with blood and rain, but none of it seemed to register.
The car started with a soft purr and Sebastian moved away from the mansion. Silence settled in the vehicle and rain pattered against the windshield. “We’ll be there in a few minutes,” Sebastian murmured.
Ciel said nothing for a moment, body unmoving and seemingly dead to the world. “I kill...” His throat felt tight, saliva thick. “I kill to protect those I care about. It’s what I was taught to tell myself to justify what I do.” Another pause and this time Ciel couldn’t swallow around the lump in his throat. “Th-that’s what I tell myself, but... But what good is it if I can’t protect the people I care about? What does that make me? A mur...murd--” He couldn’t say it, not past the tears or past his conscience.
“No,” Sebastian said quickly. “You are not that. You killed him to continue to protect those who are still alive. If you had let Dagger go, he would’ve gone after more people; your classmates, your aunt. The possibilities are endless.”
The words did little to appease Ciel, because they did not change one fact. He had failed Bard. When the man needed him the most, Ciel could only stand back and watch as the life was stolen from him. “More will die.” No matter what he did, more would die. Ciel knew that all too well now.
Sebastian was silent, knowing that he didn’t need to confirm such a statement. Ciel already knew it to be true and Sebastian didn’t want the younger male thinking about it anymore. The parlor came into view and he slowed down before turning the car off.
It had finally stopped raining; only a light mist hung in the air and made Ciel’s clothes stick uncomfortably to his skin. The parlor sign was off and the words ‘Tea Leaves’ were in obscurity. It didn’t feel comforting being here as it once had. Ciel didn’t think he would feel calm anywhere right now.
As soon as the door was opened, Ciel took off into the parlor in search of some place where he could just be. Sebastian’s constant pity wasn’t helping and being alone just seemed fitting. He pushed himself up the stairs and forced the first door he found open. Ciel kept the lights off, not bothering with them, and collapsed on the floor and into himself.
Sebastian sighed and slowly peeled off his soaked shirt, setting it in the sink for now. He wasn’t the best person to offer comfort and he found himself grasping for the right words to say to Ciel. The rest of his wet clothes were discarded and Sebastian pulled on some boxers and a long sleeve shirt before gathering up some extra clothes, a towel, and a first aid kit for Ciel.
The office light was switched off and Sebastian padded down the hallway and up the steps, following the water droplets until he found Ciel. Silently, Sebastian made his way over to the younger male, not bothering to turn the light on.
He set the towel on Ciel’s head and then dropped to his knees, going to work drying the younger male off. Ciel wouldn’t be happy with himself if he was sick on Bard’s funeral.
Nothing was said and Ciel allowed the touch. His frame was shaking from cold and more emotions than he could handle at one time. The towel was gentle and soft against Ciel’s skin and he only pulled away when the fabric rolled over a bleeding gash.
“Watch it,” he said with no real bite.
“Sorry,” Sebastian murmured softly and pressed a soft kiss on Ciel’s temple. “I need to turn on the light, is that okay?” he asked. He couldn’t tend to the wounds in the dark.
Ciel said nothing and allowed Sebastian to leave his side for a moment. Light flooded the room and Ciel blinked before things came back into focus. He had ended up in a room he didn’t much frequent. It was used to house the majority of Sebastian’s personal weapons among other things. He turned away, not wanting to look at such things.
Silently, Sebastian cleaned the wounds and carefully dressed them, making sure they weren’t too tight. Once the last cut was taken care of, Sebastian reached for the bottom of Ciel’s shirt and lifted it up slowly. “We need to get you out of these before you catch a cold.”
Each article of clothing was peeled off bit by bit until Ciel sat in the nude, cool wooden floor against the skin of his bottom. He ached, just then realizing the toll of the day on his body. Every movement pulled at a cut or stab wound and Ciel decided that not moving would be far wiser. He put his being in the hands of the man he loved with all his heart.
Careful hands rubbed the towel over Ciel’s body, making sure to wipe away every last droplet of water. Once the younger male was dry, Sebastian draped the towel over Ciel’s lap and pulled him closer until Ciel was pressed up against his chest.
His hands were warm against Ciel’s cool body and Sebastian wasted no time pressing kisses against the pale skin. Lips trailed over Ciel’s skin as Sebastian made his way from the back of Ciel’s neck to his shoulder, lingering there to let his body heat Ciel’s.
It felt good to have such a comforting touch, to have those lips working to ease the tension of his neck and shoulders. Ciel sighed and leaned back, feeling as, bit by bit, the weight of the day crumbled under Sebastian’s easing touch. He was grateful for it, realizing that it could have very well been Sebastian with a bullet between the eyes.
“Is it always like this?” Ciel found himself asking. “Does it always hurt this much?”
Sebastian was silent for a while before he finally answered. “It does, and it doesn’t get easier,” he admitted. Another kiss was pressed to Ciel’s neck and Sebastian sucked in a deep breath, inhaling Ciel’s scent. “But you remember and honor those dead by never forgetting them.”
“I don’t want to forget them.” Even if Ciel did want to forget everything, he knew Bard’s memory would be forever stuck with him. Closing his eyes now, Ciel could still envision Bard’s goofy smile past his cigarette and plume of smoke. “I don’t want to forget him.”
“You won’t,” Sebastian murmured. “You’ll remember him and fight in his memory. You’ll move on, but you’ll never forget him. He lives on in our memories and we’ll honor him as time passes.”
Ciel nodded slightly and slumped back into Sebastian’s warmth. His body was cold and tired, wanting nothing more than to fall into a dreamless sleep. Cold air ghosted over Ciel’s body and he shook, tears falling from his eyes to warm his cheeks.
Sebastian’s arms tightened around Ciel and he rolled them backwards. As soon as they were on the floor, Sebastian’s body curled around Ciel and he buried his face into Ciel’s neck. He wouldn’t let the younger male know how much Bard’s death hurt him as well. He would be strong for Ciel and he would support him anyway he could.
In the tangle of Sebastian’s arms and legs, Ciel let himself go. Sobs wracked his body, loud and uncontrollable. It hurt so much but felt liberating all the same. So many things pounded against Ciel’s walls: guilt for being relieved that it had been Bard and not Sebastian; sorrow for losing a man whom he had come to look up to as an older brother; and weakness for not being able to do anything to save the man. Relief flooded him for knowing that he still had his life alongside Sebastian and he cried all the harder for it. How much long would that last?
Sebastian’s eyes closed tightly, fighting back his own sorrows as he gripped onto Ciel tighter. His chest ached at the loss of Bard; a man he had known almost all his life. Later tonight, he would mourn the loss when Ciel was asleep, when the younger male couldn’t see him and the dark would hide his own tears.
He tilted his head to the side, his lips moving over the back of Ciel’s neck, murmuring three words over and over against the pale skin. It could’ve easily been Ciel who had taken the bullet to the head and been lost to him forever. Sebastian shivered and let his legs wrap around Ciel’s, pulling him even closer; trying to fuse them together.
“Please don’t ever leave. Never.” Ciel whispered, clutching onto Sebastian’s arms as they crossed against the younger man’s chest. The thought of the pain he would feel to have Sebastian leave his life was unimaginable. It would eclipse his current pain, and Ciel knew he would die.
“Never,” Sebastian murmured. He didn’t want to feel that pain again. Losing Ciel for a month had been torture and it was something that Sebastian never wanted to feel again. It was something that he wouldn’t be able to bear again; it would break and destroy him.
Satisfied, Ciel snuggled into the man. His eyes closed and he tried to will away everything, driving his mind blank. The sobs that had assaulted his body subsided and only choked whimpers slipped past.
Sebastian muttered softly to Ciel, trying to make the younger male relax. He could feel all the muscles in Ciel’s body quiver with each shuddering breath he took and Sebastian nipped lightly at Ciel’s ear.
It took several minutes before Ciel found any sort of relief. Somewhere between the endless tears and his shaking form, Ciel found solace within Sebastian’s embrace. He breathed in deeply and settled himself into the warmth that had been offered. With tired movements, he turned within Sebastian’s arms, their chests pressing together and Ciel’s face burying into the older man’s neck.
A low hum left Sebastian’s throat as his arms readjusted themselves against Ciel’s back. His hand came up to thread through black locks and Sebastian tilted Ciel’s head back slightly. Lips sought Ciel’s, hoping that that the intimate action would help to chase away not only Ciel’s solemn thoughts, but Sebastian’s as well.
Ciel accepted the gesture, pushing into the kiss and tasting the rain and sweat of the day. The shirt beneath Ciel’s fingers was soft, made of high quality cotton. He didn’t care much, as his nails dug into the material, if it ripped or not. In that moment Ciel was finding it so much easier not to care.
“I love you, so damn much,” he said between kisses.
Sebastian’s hands cupped Ciel’s head, holding him still for a moment. His red eyes searched blue ones, falling into the alluring pull without fear. “I love you, Ciel.” He pulled the younger male back down for another deep kiss. When they broke apart, panting slightly, Sebastian pressed one more chaste kiss on Ciel’s lips. “More than you will ever know, I love you.”
For the countless time that night, tears spilled from Ciel’s eyes, only these were of a different sort altogether. There was none of the sadness clouding them, just joyous relief for what Ciel had in life. And above all else, the love he had from Sebastian. He kissed the man fiercely on the lips, cheeks, nose, neck and then back to deeply claim that tasteful mouth.
Steady hands held Ciel to Sebastian’s body, making sure that the younger male wasn’t about to go anywhere. Right now, Sebastian craved that more than anything. He wanted to feel Ciel’s body pressed against his. He needed to feel Ciel’s beating heart pulsing in his chest and his breaths coming heavy from his mouth.
Each action helped to remind Sebastian that Ciel was still alive. That he was here and not someplace else that was out of reach from him. Each beat that Sebastian felt and every breath that fanned across him made Sebastian press harder into Ciel’s body. He licked the salty tears away, trying to clean every last drop off the face he loved and cared for so much.
Ciel felt as if Sebastian would succeed in pulling him into the older man’s body. Sore muscles and open wounds protested, but the complaints never left Ciel’s mouth. Each prickle of agony, every shock of pleasure alongside throbbing heartbeats served as a reminder of the lives they had. The lives they shared together. Hands strayed from Sebastian’s chest to fist into black hair. They met again, smashing lips against lips -- noses becoming unneeded distractions, breathing becoming out of the question.
When they finally broke apart, soft pants fell from their mouths and Sebastian started to press light kisses over Ciel’s face, brushing first over Ciel’s nose, then his cheeks, followed by his eyelids, and finishing on the center of Ciel’s forehead. His lips lingered there for a moment longer before Sebastian pulled back, his eyes locking with Ciel’s.
Their heartbeats slowed as they continued to watch each other, the adrenaline leaving their bodies with each beat of the heart. Sebastian’s hand rose, brushing away a stray strand of hair that had fallen across Ciel’s face. Once the piece of hair was gone, his fingers brushed over the soft skin, coaxing Ciel to relax even more.
“I’m tired,” Ciel said after a moment. His eyelids were fluttering as he fought to keep them open. Tears dried to his face and Ciel rubbed them with the back of his hand as he yawned.
Sebastian nodded. “I’ll still be here in the morning,” he promised. “Go to sleep.”
He watched as the blue eyes struggled to stay awake a little longer before they finally closed and Ciel slipped into a dreamworld. Or so at least Sebastian could only hope they were dreams and not nightmares after today.
Untangling himself from Ciel’s body, Sebastian carefully lifted the younger male up and off the floor. Ciel was still nude and in need of some place more comfortable to sleep other than the hard wooden floor. Padding out of the room and into the storage space at the top of the parlor, Sebastian slowly set Ciel down on the air mattress.
Boxers were slid up Ciel’s legs before Sebastian maneuvered Ciel’s body fully onto the mattress. The blankets were tucked around Ciel and Sebastian circled around to the other side of the bed, taking a seat on the edge.
His shirt was discarded and tossed to the side and Sebastian reached over to shut the light off. Once the room was bathed in darkness, his shoulders slumped and his hand reached came up to press against his face, struggling against all the emotions that he had held back.
The emotions came anyway, despite the weak barrier and Sebastian’s head tilted back to stare up at the ceiling as he let the pain claw at his chest. Behind him, Ciel stirred briefly and Sebastian quickly wiped at his face before looking over his shoulder.
His name was slurred and Ciel’s hand reached out for him, searching for his body. With a faint smile, Sebastian slid under the covers and pushed his body up against Ciel’s. “Sleep,” he murmured, feeling Ciel’s body relax once more at the touch.
And Ciel slept, long and deeply. His breathing evened out and the young man became lost in his own world of dreams and nightmares. For that night, he only had one dream of being on an island where it was only himself in a lonely little world. In such a place there was no need to mourn the lost when there was nothing to lose in the first place. Yet who knew that never having could hurt far worse then once having had. It was the memories of lost things that mended and sewed a broken heart with time. And Ciel clung to those memories, never wanting to let go.
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[Part Two]
Chapter: 38 (part one)/?
Authors: Akiru chan & Disgruntled Minion
Pairing/Characters: Sebastian/Ciel
Rating: M
Summary: Ciel's skin was marred with ink and blood, telling tales twisted in darkness. What an evil path the devil walks, tainted hands staining the innocent canvas. For the most beautiful art is painted in blood.
Warnings: Violence, adult content, yaoi, and language
Chapter Thirty-Eight
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Sebastian stated as he looked at Bard. His eyes swept over Bard’s body, checking for anything on the other male that might prove to be dangerous. There was nothing binding him to the cage and the security seemed rather lax, all things considering.
Bard scoffed. “Yeah well, you try being stuck in this cage for a while without a bath.” He shook his head and tried to scratch at his neck, finding his path impeded. “I smell pretty bad and you know what they say about odors.”
Sebastian froze and pulled Ciel back. “You’re sporting some new bling,” Sebastian murmured. “Where’d you get it?”
There was a shrug. “It was a gift from my new friends.” Bard looked at him, eyes pleading. “Do you know what it is, boss?”
Ciel looked confused as well, and shot a look to Sebastian for answers. From the look on the older man’s face, it was nothing good. He swallowed and found it within himself to give Bard what he hoped would be an uplifting smile.
“I have an idea,” Sebastian muttered and then raised his voice slightly. “How bad do you think you smell?”
Bard forced a laugh. “Pretty bad; enough to knock someone out. Although the flies don’t seem to mind it.”
Sebastian frowned and his eyes darted around the tent. Bard was speaking in code, that much he was sure of. The captured man was subtly telling them that their enemy was still there, no doubt hidden somewhere in the very same tent they were in. And if that were the case, they’d have a fight on their hands.
The whole conversation made little sense to Ciel. It didn’t seem the most important of things to be discussing at the moment, but he didn’t comment. He knew that despite everything, the words passed between Bard and Sebastian were important and he listened. Ciel knew well enough that now was not the time for such questions.
A hand tightened around Ciel’s waist and Sebastian pulled him closer. He squeezed the wrist lightly before trailing down to tap Ciel’s pointer finger, telling him to be on guard. “We need to get him out of here,” Sebastian murmured but his eyes focused once more on the collar like item around Bard’s neck.
It was either a tracking device or a bomb that would go off if Bard left the circus. This gang was known for their bomb work and Sebastian wouldn’t put it past them to create such a device.
Blue eyes flew to the lock holding the cage door shut soundly. “How are we going to get past that?” Ciel asked in a quiet tone. He was once again on edge and did not know exactly what was going on. Despite all his training and experience, Ciel was once more reminded of how much he still didn’t know and understand.
“Pick it,” Sebastian answered. “We can’t shoot it without sounding out our location.” He took a step forward, looking for any wire traps or switches that could trigger something. The back of his neck pricked and he had a feeling that they were being watched, but their watchers were hidden out of sight.
Pick it? Of course Ciel would be asked to pick it. He had only been taught once, and by a frustrated and bitching Grell. Ciel hummed his discontent and moved forward to study the make of the lock. It seemed to be a typical Master lock, and Ciel quickly scrounged around in his pockets for something to use. He plucked out a few tools that were more or less protocol to carry and got to work.
Sebastian watched Ciel work, frowning as he did so. It was all too easy. Bard could’ve picked the lock if he wanted to and then tried to fight off his attackers or even sneak away. Their enemy must have known that and Sebastian scowled, knowing that Bard was indeed being used as bait.
The lock clicked open and Ciel pushed open the door. From inside the cage, Bard looked happy and crawled forward to exit the metal prison. “Great. Now if we can just get out of here, I’ll be happy.”
“We need to figure out how to get that off you,” Sebastian stated. “Or all this will have been for...” he trailed off as a red dot appeared on Bard’s forehead and he spun around, gun drawn.
“Shit.” Ciel spun around on his knees, gun being drawn in time with Sebastian. It wasn’t surprising to see the two men standing right where Ciel had dropped the umbrella. The one holding the gun was a hefty man, and Ciel didn’t feel up to taking on the man hand to hand. The other one was much similar to Ciel in build, although shorter. He reminded Ciel of Finny in some ways, except for the lack of light and happiness within his eyes. This man looked cruel where Finny was only innocence.
“Appears the party is finally getting underway,” Ciel mumbled and stood, tight smile on his face. It looked like their smooth sailing had come to an end.
“Neither of them are trained on Bard,” Sebastian mused softly to Ciel as the younger male moved closer. “They have a sniper on him. So even if we both take down these guys, they’ll still shoot Bard.”
Sebastian turned his attention towards the men watching them carefully. “You know who we are, but my partner and I still don’t know your names. Common courtesy dictates that you give us your names.”
The smaller of the two men smiled and looked half amused. “What a shame. You’ve gotten this far and you don’t even know who we are? Surely you could fathom a guess.” The man flicked out a knife from somewhere on his person and tossed it lightly into the air.
“I would guess that you’re Dagger,” Sebastian stated, his eyes watching the knife spin in the air. He itched to shoot the weapon out his hands, but he quelled the urge.
“Very good! You’re not too much of a pillock after all.” The man seemed to brighten until he turned to his company. “Although it seems they don’t know you, Jumbo. How unfortunate.” Jumbo shrugged his tattooed shoulders and didn’t comment much at the remark.
Ciel on his part felt his frown deepen and his finger twitch against the trigger. He’d love to put a bullet into each of their heads, but his main concern was the sniper that remained out of sight. It was hard enough to fathom where they were taking the shot from. The tents didn’t allow for stable support for taking the shot from a high elevation.
Sebastian smiled. “Of course not; we found our way here didn’t we. And besides that, we’re not really interested in such petty people such as yourself. You’re below us.” He shifted his weight, eyes still searching for the sniper’s location. “Besides that, who is the stupid one? You keep demanding something back but you won’t tell us what it is. We’re good, but we’re not good enough to read minds.”
“I guess that answers the question on whether you brought it or not,” Dagger said with an overly exaggerated sigh. “But really it shouldn’t be that hard for you to know. Unless you really do make a habit of taking things that don’t belong to you, but whatever. It doesn’t matter now, I suppose. Now that we have the two of you here, I think it’ll be safe to say Tanaka will be more than eager to return our item without looking too much into it. After all, time will be of the essence.”
“I believe the proper term is ‘spoils of war’,” Sebastian stated. “We’re all guilty of taking something from our enemies after a fight. It’s who we are. If I’m correct, you took someone’s finger a while back and that didn’t belong to you.”
Dagger’s hand waved the accusation away. “That incident had little to do with us directly. The man was an associate, but no one we’ll vouch for.” The knife within the man’s hand began to spin around his fingers as he toyed with it, looking all the more comfortable with the situation despite the guns pointed towards him.
Sebastian stayed silent and watched the motion of the knife. They weren’t getting anywhere with these talks, even though he had a faint idea of what they were looking for. There had been a great deal of items that he had acquired over the year and it could be anything from his collection.
Behind him, Bard shifted and Sebastian could feel Ciel growing more tense with each passing minute. The younger male hadn’t said a word yet and Sebastian didn’t know if Ciel was just assessing the situation or waiting for a moment to say something.
The younger male was poised and ready, not to mention unnerved for what was to come. It would be easy to take out the two men in front of them, but doing so would ensure Bard’s own death. Keeping a sniper trained on their captive had been a smart move on the enemies’ part. A move that Ciel, and most probably Sebastian, was cursing.
“So now that we’ve got things squared away, why don’t you two drop your weapons like good hostages and get into the cage with your little friend.” Dagger smiled viciously as he stared down at Sebastian and Ciel. “I’m sure you three can all fit.”
Sebastian scowled and glanced at Ciel. He had been in worse situations before and had escaped them just fine, but this time he had to think about two other people. They had known this was a trap coming in, but the tide was turning too quickly on them and Sebastian’s mind worked to figure out their options.
They still had their concealed weapons, and they weren’t giving those away unless Dagger took them from him personally. A plan started to form in Sebastian’s mind and he heaved a sigh, not liking it already.
“Fine,” he growled and pulled his arms away from each other.
“What?” Ciel looked rightfully shocked. His stomach turned and his heart raced. Was this really it? Were they going to be held as hostages with little hope of getting out of this alive? Ciel knew how these things worked. The item wanted would be brought but it would not ensure Sebastian’s life, Bard’s life, nor his own.
A pleased look crossed Dagger’s face and he smiled cruelly. “Very good! Now if only you’d be so kind as to unload your guns and toss them and their magazines over here. Wouldn’t want them within your reach, now would we?”
Sebastian smirked. “Unload them? Like this?” His gun pointed to the side and he squeezed the trigger twice, shooting a pile of hay. The gun swung up to meet Dagger. “Or should I unload them into you?”
Neither man looked too pleased with Sebastian’s antics. “Well aren’t you a smartass. But no, if you could be so kind as to remove the magazine from your gun. That would be ideal.” Dagger’s jaw was tight as he spoke, not at all amused.
“Of course,” Sebastian answered as he removed the clip from his gun. His eyes slid to the side, eyeing the slowly growing pool of red that seeped out from the hay. It seemed as though one suspicion had been proven and taken care of.
Ciel hesitated when Dagger’s eyes moved onto him and waited for Ciel to follow Sebastian’s lead. Given no choice, he was forced to follow suit and separate magazine from gun. They both tossed their weapons in front of them at the same time, Dagger going forward to pick them up.
“Very good! Now wasn’t that easy!” The young man’s voice was far too chipper and Ciel was finding it hard not to rush forward and bury his fist into that smiling face. “Now if you’ll be so kind and turn around and stay still. We might as well check you over. Wouldn’t want you trying to hide anything from us.”
“No,” Sebastian stated. “We’ve discarded our weapons and as a good faith gesture, so should you.” It was a last ditch effort to get Dagger to leave the guns behind and help level the playing field. While Sebastian doubted that Dagger would kill them, he didn’t want to chance anything right now.
There was a pause before a booming laugh filled the tent. “That’s rich. Do you take me for a fool? I’m not so dimwitted to think you don’t have more weapons hidden on your body. Now be good boys and turn around, hands in the air.” The knife in Dagger’s hand moved back and forth in a tisk-tisk sort of motion.
Ciel cursed under his breath and slowly complied. He could almost feel the gun on his back and it ate away at his nerves. There had been times when he had been thrown into a life or death situation, but never before had he been so unarmed. If only he could reach one of his knives or perhaps his hidden gun.
Silence filled the tent as Sebastian turned around, keeping eye contact with Bard. The man would watch their backs and tell them if anything dangerous was coming their way. They were both on high alert; not only were they defenseless, but there was still a red dot on Bard’s forehead.
Sebastian was determined to get them all out. His plan was already put into place and all he needed to do was wait until they came close enough. The cage was already open and once Dagger was behind them, Sebastian could act while Bard moved to safety.
He mouthed a word to Bard, knowing that the other man would understand. It was a simple move for Bard; roll out of the cage and push Ciel to safety and out of line of the sniper fire. Sebastian watched as Bard’s eyes shifted, watching the men behind him and for a brief moment, confusion washed across Bard’s face.
Sebastian’s eyebrow arched in question, wanting to know what was going on. There weren’t any footsteps behind them and it seemed as though they were the only people in the tent. He watched Bard’s face carefully, looking for any hint or clue, but Bard’s face only showed confusion.
Bard’s eyes moved back to his and they locked briefly, as they tried to figure out what was going on. Sebastian’s mouth opened slightly, ready to ask another question when the red dot vanished and Sebastian relaxed slightly before a puff of red escaped the back of Bard’s head and the man slumped down onto the floor of the cage.
The loud crack of the sniper gun echoed across the circus grounds a few seconds later. But it was long enough for blood to start pooling on the floor and for the brain matter on the canvas walls to start sliding down the coarse material.
“What,” Ciel breathed slowly even though he felt like he was choking. His head felt fuzzy and he couldn’t quiet make out what had just happened. Blue eyes trained in on the grizzly sight and a knot formed in the pit of Ciel’s stomach, pushing its contents up his throat.
Finally, footsteps were heard closing in upon then. “Thought I would do you the courtesy of freeing up some space. Now you can stretch your legs.” Dagger’s voice got closer and Ciel felt himself begin to shake as a wetness stained his cheeks. “You took it from us the night you were supposed to die. This is the price of your greed and only more will die until you return what rightfully belongs to us.”
Sebastian blinked once, trying to make the image go away. He had seen people die before; some by his own hand and others who were comrades in the family. But even after seeing hundreds of people die before him, it still didn’t make it any easier.
He tensed as Dagger moved closer and he counted the steps silently. Now wasn’t the time to mourn the death of Bard. That would come after these two were dead. As cruel as it sounded, right now they needed to push Bard out of their minds and focus on their own survival. And then they would extract revenge on these animals.
“I suppose we’ll have to drag the body out for you,” Dagger continued to say. “Just toss him into the dumpster.”
Red clouded Ciel’s vision and his breathing came out erratic and harsh. He couldn’t think of anything aside from making the man behind him pay. At that moment, not even his own life mattered so long as Dagger’s blood coated Ciel’s hands. Ciel saw red and he wanted to see so much more.
Before Sebastian could reign in Ciel’s abrupt reaction, the younger male was falling into a crouch just as he spun on his heel. Shaking hands sought out the gun in Ciel’s boot just as a knife flew down to cut deep into the side of his wrist.
“You fucking bastard!” Ciel cried out. The gun was pulled, despite the blood and pain dripping from his hand. His first shot grazed at Dagger’s shoulder, the aim far off due to Ciel’s clouded rage.
Sebastian tackled Ciel, knocking them both away from the tents entrance. A bullet pierced through the canvas where they had once been standing and Sebastian quickly pulled out his own gun.
The weapon felt small in his hands as it was only a backup, but it was still powerful as he squeezed the trigger at the larger male. He was the most immediate threat as he already had a gun out and ready to fire. They were lucky that his large build kept him from reacting as quickly as his partner had.
A gunshot resounded in the tent and Ciel didn’t bother to see the man called Jumbo fall to the ground with a wound that looked sickeningly like the one Bard had been dealt. Ciel continued to focus his aim on Dagger who was smiling like he was having the time of his life.
“Is that all you’ve got, little heir? Do you need your babysitter to take care of you?” A knife was thrown in Sebastian’s direction to emphasize his point. It was dodged easily and Dagger made no move to seem bothered by it.
Ciel swept forward with his gun and shot once more only to miss altogether. His target cackled and produced four more throwing knives. They were thrown and Ciel didn’t bother to dodge most of them as he rushed forwards with his gun poised and ready.
The action was unexpected by all in the tent, and Ciel shot straight into Dagger’s stomach. The man coughed and slumped to the floor, just as a commotion sounded outside. No doubt they had attracted the missing third person as well as the hidden sniper. Ciel paid no mind, Sebastian could handle them.
Dagger clutched at his wound and looked up at Ciel; for the first time that smile was gone. A shot was placed into the man’s shoulder, Ciel showing no mercy. Screams, along with pleading, filled the tent. It was now that Ciel found himself relishing the begging of his prey. He wanted to hear how helpless they were, how much they wanted to live.
“Beg,” Ciel demanded, and Dagger begged. He begged through every gun shot to his arms, legs, hips, and right up until Ciel had the cold metal of his gun pressed to the man’s temple. “Tell me you want to live.”
“P-please... don’t ki---” Wet splashes hit the ground as scalp, bone and brain fell onto the damp floor. Ciel saw red and he couldn’t help but think that there hadn’t been a prettier color.
Another loud gunshot filled the tent as Sebastian put a bullet in the back of the sniper’s head. He scoffed at the sniper; foolish idiot. He was lucky once and seemed to think that he could take them on by himself, racing down to join the fight without thought.
Sebastian’s head turned slightly, his eyes settling on Bard’s corpse. With a low growl, Sebastian plucked the sniper rifle from the man’s hands and searched the now cooling body of the corpse. A few bullets were found in the man’s pockets and were quickly loaded. Without a word, Sebastian aimed the gun at the sniper’s head and pulled the trigger.
The hollow point bullet tore the man’s head apart, sending bone and flesh across the dirt and hay floor. It was only then that Sebastian felt that some form of revenge had been extracted and he tossed the rifle to the side in disgust.
A hollow clicking sound caught Sebastian’s attention and he turned to look at Ciel. The younger male was still pulling the trigger on his empty gun, hoping in some way that more bullets would push their way into Dagger.
“Ciel,” he called softly and made his way over to the younger male.
Ciel sat nestled close to Dagger’s dead body. His gun was pressed point blank into the corpse. Blood oozed and bubbled around the barrel’s tip from where Ciel had emptied round after round and continued to push the gun in deeper as he pulled the trigger only to hear the empty click.
Without much warning, Ciel pulled the gun back and threw it to the side. His hands came down to his belt and pulled the knife Bard had given him. It snapped open and Ciel brought the sharp metal down into Dagger’s chest over and over again. Tears were now flowing freely from Ciel’s eyes but he couldn’t care. He hurt so much and the only comfort he found was in the mutilation he was currently partaking of.
Sebastian’s hand shot out, quickly grabbing a hold of Ciel’s wrist. He hissed slightly as the knife nicked his hand but ignored it in favor of pulling the knife out of Ciel’s hand. “He’s dead, Ciel,” he stated and pulled the younger male closer. “He’s dead. Nothing you do now is going to make him die anymore or bring Bard back.”
“Bard.” Ciel choked on the name and buried himself into Sebastian’s arms. It couldn’t be. He still hoped to hear Bard’s voice berating him for crying like a baby. Nothing ever came except for Sebastian’s calming words. His hand gripped into Sebastian’s shirt, staining it red. Everything hurt so much and Ciel didn’t know how to deal with it. He had been ready to die, but upon seeing Bard well and alive, Ciel had never played with the idea that it would be the older man to leave this world. And Ciel had not been able to do a thing about it. He could only watch as the bullet had--
No, he couldn’t think about it.
Sebastian’s arms tightened around Ciel’s body. This was the first time Ciel had seen someone close to him die. It never became any easier and each one hurt as much as the first. This was why Sebastian didn’t want to bring Ciel into this world; those blue eyes were now tainted with death and anger.
He couldn’t easily forget the way Ciel had attacked Dagger. It was cold and cruel, letting Ciel vent out all his anger in the only way that was available to Ciel at the time. But it was also dangerous. The younger male hadn’t thought at all before he flew into a blind rage. It was rash and could’ve ended up killing them all.
But now wasn’t the time for such berating. That would have to come later on, after everything today was put to rest. Sebastian glanced up at Bard’s body, hoping that the dirty blond would pop his head up and grin, stating that it was all just a joke. But Sebastian knew that it wouldn’t happen and he sighed; another dead friend to add to the growing list.
“Ciel,” he murmured. “We need to leave now. It’s still dangerous for us here and we need to take Bard home.”
It took all of Ciel’s strength to stand, leaving none left to wipe away his tears. The blank look on his face was betrayed by the still falling tears. His body hurt all over, knife wounds littering him from head to toe. Blood soaked him and it was oddly comforting to think that it was not all his own.
“Let’s go home,” Ciel said as he swayed on his feet. He was looking towards the spot where Bard’s body lay, but not really seeing it. His gaze shot past everything and settled on the background. It was easier that way. Always easier to be blind.
Sebastian led Ciel to the tent’s entrance and pushed the umbrella into the younger males hand. “Wait for me,” he murmured and turned to move back inside the tent. He shed his coat and draped it over Bard’s body, the heat beginning to leave it. With a small grunt, Sebastian lifted Bard’s body up and made his way back to Ciel.
The umbrella was already opened and Sebastian ducked under its protective cover. “Let’s go,” he said simply and they started walking. Silence settled around them, neither wanting to say anything.
Ciel didn’t speak, nor did he look anywhere other than straight ahead of him. His mind was a blank slate as they headed back through the circus, across the street and to the car. The rain kept up its steady pace, no more and no less than what it had been before. The umbrella was snapped close without any warning. Ciel grew soaked but he didn’t care as he quickly climbed into the passenger side, leaving Sebastian out in the rain.
For a moment, Sebastian stood still, unsure of where to put Bard. It seemed degrading to put the man in the trunk, but he would draw attention if he were in the backseat where everyone could see.
Murmuring a small apology for the lack of respect, Sebastian carefully set Bard’s body in the trunk, making sure that the body wouldn’t be jarred around too much on the drive back. The trunk was slammed shut and Sebastian quickly jogged back to the driver’s side, climbing in without hesitation.
Ciel was shaking uncontrollably in his seat. Water and blood soaked into the upholstery, staining it. Most of the cuts and stab wounds had stopped their flows but some blood still poured from Ciel’s body. He didn’t care much; the physical pain was nothing to the mental anguish. Ciel kept trying to berate himself for acting like a child as he broke down and cried. Even now, salty tears fell from his eyes and he didn’t give a fucking damn about it.
Sebastian’s hand reached over to grab Ciel’s as he drove along the rain soaked roads. It would take them about forty minutes to get home but they weren’t in any hurry. The windshield wipers went back and forth in a steady rhythm and the heater helped to push away the chill, even though the warmth didn’t reach the cold down in their bones.
The warmth of Sebastian’s hand was welcomed and Ciel turned his palm up to take hold of it. He gave it a squeeze and sniffed past his tears. Bard wouldn’t have wanted him to cry, and it wasn’t safe to lose one’s self in grief like he had. Thinking back, Ciel knew he had acted rashly. He didn’t regret his actions, but it hadn’t been the smartest of things he had done. Taking a shaky breath, Ciel turned to look at Sebastian sadly.
“Thank you.” His voice was hollow, but he couldn’t muster up enough emotion to count.
Sebastian hummed softly and brought Ciel’s hand up to press a light kiss to it. The younger male was still trembling and Sebastian was already planning on taking Ciel to the parlor tonight so he could stay away from the mansion.
Silence settled in the car once more as the trees flashed by. It seemed like the drive was going by too quickly and that all too soon, they were in familiar territory. The adrenaline that had been ebbing away was now coming back quickly. Sebastian would have to present the body to Tanaka and it wasn’t something he was looking forward to doing.
Once parked, Ciel led himself to stand awkwardly out of the rain on the main porch. He watched Sebastian pull Bard’s body from the trunk, but he had to look away. Despite not being able to see the man’s face, Ciel still knew that he rested beneath Sebastian’s coat. The most Ciel could do was hold the door open and walk slowly behind as they went on towards Tanaka’s office. Not many people were in the halls, but those who they came across froze and looked on in morbid interest.
Tanaka’s office loomed before them and Sebastian slowed down slightly so Ciel could open the door for him. Inside the room, Tanaka looked up at them as the door was open, his eyes instantly settling on the body that rested in Sebastian’s arms.
“Tanaka,” Sebastian said softly as he moved into the room.
The old man stood up, paperwork forgotten. His eyes darted behind Ciel, a brief look of relief filling them at seeing his grandson still alive. The look faded, though, as they settled on the body and Tanaka moved around the desk. “Baldroy?” he asked.
Sebastian nodded. “He was alive when we arrived, but was then cruelly shot by a sniper. All those involved were taken care of; three dead.”
Ciel tried to stay hidden behind Sebastian, not wanting Tanaka to see his eyes puffy from crying or the blood and injuries scattered across his person. The man had enough to worry about; he didn’t need to fuss over Ciel as well. If Ciel had his way, he would be anywhere but in this office at the moment.
A drop of blood dropped from Ciel’s wrist and he vaguely thought of the time that Sebastian had told him that his grandfather disliked bloodstains on his carpet. Those were such easy times, Ciel mused. Everything seemed simple and much more bright. The contrast only helped to make the current situation all the more grim.
“He was a good man,” Tanaka stated, pulling Ciel from his thoughts. “And he will be sorely missed. We’ll prepare a funeral service for him right away and send him away with honor, as is fitting for Baldroy. He deserves it and then some.”
Sebastian inclined his head. “Thank you, Tanaka,” he murmured. The door opened behind them and he turned around to see Grell stepping into the room silently.
“I heard a rumor from someone and came as soon as I could,” he said softly. The redhead padded forward and held out his arms to Sebastian. “May I?” he asked.
Bard’s body was passed over to Grell, the other male taking care not to jostle the body around. Careful eyes looked over the half covered body before turning to regard the other three people in the room. “I’ll take care of him,” Grell said.
A faint nod was given from Ciel in thanks, but the young man had yet to open his mouth. He feared his voice would lack the steady conviction it usually did. The last thing he wanted was to look weak in front of people whom Ciel needed to see him as strong. He sniffed once, but continued to stay quiet and hidden behind Sebastian, even as Grell left and all that remained was Tanaka, Sebastian and himself.
“I’m placing you two on temporary leave. The next week will be stressful with the funeral and coping with such a loss. We’ll continue to search for these people and make them pay for their actions by striking at the heart of this beast,” Tanaka said, his voice firm and hard. “I know it won’t bring Baldroy back, but it’s the least we can do to honor him and it’s what he would’ve wanted.”
Sebastian nodded and gave a small bow, ushering Ciel out as soon as Ciel was standing straight again. They needed to get out of the mansion or go somewhere where no one cared what they did.
“Where are we going?” Ciel finally asked in a quiet voice as he was led away from their room and down the same way in which they came. He became even more confused as they passed the kitchen, not that he thought he could stomach food at the moment.
“To the parlor,” Sebastian answered. It would be better to get Ciel away from the mansion where everyone would be talking about the death. Somewhere where it was just the two of them and no one else. Somewhere Ciel could mourn without worry of what people would think.
For a moment Ciel paused, not quite wanting to leave just yet. There was so much moving, so much happening. His head was spinning and he just wanted to sink to the floor until everything stopped. Having no strength left within himself, Ciel could only allow Sebastian to pull him along and finally to push him back into the car. The seat was still wet with blood and rain, but none of it seemed to register.
The car started with a soft purr and Sebastian moved away from the mansion. Silence settled in the vehicle and rain pattered against the windshield. “We’ll be there in a few minutes,” Sebastian murmured.
Ciel said nothing for a moment, body unmoving and seemingly dead to the world. “I kill...” His throat felt tight, saliva thick. “I kill to protect those I care about. It’s what I was taught to tell myself to justify what I do.” Another pause and this time Ciel couldn’t swallow around the lump in his throat. “Th-that’s what I tell myself, but... But what good is it if I can’t protect the people I care about? What does that make me? A mur...murd--” He couldn’t say it, not past the tears or past his conscience.
“No,” Sebastian said quickly. “You are not that. You killed him to continue to protect those who are still alive. If you had let Dagger go, he would’ve gone after more people; your classmates, your aunt. The possibilities are endless.”
The words did little to appease Ciel, because they did not change one fact. He had failed Bard. When the man needed him the most, Ciel could only stand back and watch as the life was stolen from him. “More will die.” No matter what he did, more would die. Ciel knew that all too well now.
Sebastian was silent, knowing that he didn’t need to confirm such a statement. Ciel already knew it to be true and Sebastian didn’t want the younger male thinking about it anymore. The parlor came into view and he slowed down before turning the car off.
It had finally stopped raining; only a light mist hung in the air and made Ciel’s clothes stick uncomfortably to his skin. The parlor sign was off and the words ‘Tea Leaves’ were in obscurity. It didn’t feel comforting being here as it once had. Ciel didn’t think he would feel calm anywhere right now.
As soon as the door was opened, Ciel took off into the parlor in search of some place where he could just be. Sebastian’s constant pity wasn’t helping and being alone just seemed fitting. He pushed himself up the stairs and forced the first door he found open. Ciel kept the lights off, not bothering with them, and collapsed on the floor and into himself.
Sebastian sighed and slowly peeled off his soaked shirt, setting it in the sink for now. He wasn’t the best person to offer comfort and he found himself grasping for the right words to say to Ciel. The rest of his wet clothes were discarded and Sebastian pulled on some boxers and a long sleeve shirt before gathering up some extra clothes, a towel, and a first aid kit for Ciel.
The office light was switched off and Sebastian padded down the hallway and up the steps, following the water droplets until he found Ciel. Silently, Sebastian made his way over to the younger male, not bothering to turn the light on.
He set the towel on Ciel’s head and then dropped to his knees, going to work drying the younger male off. Ciel wouldn’t be happy with himself if he was sick on Bard’s funeral.
Nothing was said and Ciel allowed the touch. His frame was shaking from cold and more emotions than he could handle at one time. The towel was gentle and soft against Ciel’s skin and he only pulled away when the fabric rolled over a bleeding gash.
“Watch it,” he said with no real bite.
“Sorry,” Sebastian murmured softly and pressed a soft kiss on Ciel’s temple. “I need to turn on the light, is that okay?” he asked. He couldn’t tend to the wounds in the dark.
Ciel said nothing and allowed Sebastian to leave his side for a moment. Light flooded the room and Ciel blinked before things came back into focus. He had ended up in a room he didn’t much frequent. It was used to house the majority of Sebastian’s personal weapons among other things. He turned away, not wanting to look at such things.
Silently, Sebastian cleaned the wounds and carefully dressed them, making sure they weren’t too tight. Once the last cut was taken care of, Sebastian reached for the bottom of Ciel’s shirt and lifted it up slowly. “We need to get you out of these before you catch a cold.”
Each article of clothing was peeled off bit by bit until Ciel sat in the nude, cool wooden floor against the skin of his bottom. He ached, just then realizing the toll of the day on his body. Every movement pulled at a cut or stab wound and Ciel decided that not moving would be far wiser. He put his being in the hands of the man he loved with all his heart.
Careful hands rubbed the towel over Ciel’s body, making sure to wipe away every last droplet of water. Once the younger male was dry, Sebastian draped the towel over Ciel’s lap and pulled him closer until Ciel was pressed up against his chest.
His hands were warm against Ciel’s cool body and Sebastian wasted no time pressing kisses against the pale skin. Lips trailed over Ciel’s skin as Sebastian made his way from the back of Ciel’s neck to his shoulder, lingering there to let his body heat Ciel’s.
It felt good to have such a comforting touch, to have those lips working to ease the tension of his neck and shoulders. Ciel sighed and leaned back, feeling as, bit by bit, the weight of the day crumbled under Sebastian’s easing touch. He was grateful for it, realizing that it could have very well been Sebastian with a bullet between the eyes.
“Is it always like this?” Ciel found himself asking. “Does it always hurt this much?”
Sebastian was silent for a while before he finally answered. “It does, and it doesn’t get easier,” he admitted. Another kiss was pressed to Ciel’s neck and Sebastian sucked in a deep breath, inhaling Ciel’s scent. “But you remember and honor those dead by never forgetting them.”
“I don’t want to forget them.” Even if Ciel did want to forget everything, he knew Bard’s memory would be forever stuck with him. Closing his eyes now, Ciel could still envision Bard’s goofy smile past his cigarette and plume of smoke. “I don’t want to forget him.”
“You won’t,” Sebastian murmured. “You’ll remember him and fight in his memory. You’ll move on, but you’ll never forget him. He lives on in our memories and we’ll honor him as time passes.”
Ciel nodded slightly and slumped back into Sebastian’s warmth. His body was cold and tired, wanting nothing more than to fall into a dreamless sleep. Cold air ghosted over Ciel’s body and he shook, tears falling from his eyes to warm his cheeks.
Sebastian’s arms tightened around Ciel and he rolled them backwards. As soon as they were on the floor, Sebastian’s body curled around Ciel and he buried his face into Ciel’s neck. He wouldn’t let the younger male know how much Bard’s death hurt him as well. He would be strong for Ciel and he would support him anyway he could.
In the tangle of Sebastian’s arms and legs, Ciel let himself go. Sobs wracked his body, loud and uncontrollable. It hurt so much but felt liberating all the same. So many things pounded against Ciel’s walls: guilt for being relieved that it had been Bard and not Sebastian; sorrow for losing a man whom he had come to look up to as an older brother; and weakness for not being able to do anything to save the man. Relief flooded him for knowing that he still had his life alongside Sebastian and he cried all the harder for it. How much long would that last?
Sebastian’s eyes closed tightly, fighting back his own sorrows as he gripped onto Ciel tighter. His chest ached at the loss of Bard; a man he had known almost all his life. Later tonight, he would mourn the loss when Ciel was asleep, when the younger male couldn’t see him and the dark would hide his own tears.
He tilted his head to the side, his lips moving over the back of Ciel’s neck, murmuring three words over and over against the pale skin. It could’ve easily been Ciel who had taken the bullet to the head and been lost to him forever. Sebastian shivered and let his legs wrap around Ciel’s, pulling him even closer; trying to fuse them together.
“Please don’t ever leave. Never.” Ciel whispered, clutching onto Sebastian’s arms as they crossed against the younger man’s chest. The thought of the pain he would feel to have Sebastian leave his life was unimaginable. It would eclipse his current pain, and Ciel knew he would die.
“Never,” Sebastian murmured. He didn’t want to feel that pain again. Losing Ciel for a month had been torture and it was something that Sebastian never wanted to feel again. It was something that he wouldn’t be able to bear again; it would break and destroy him.
Satisfied, Ciel snuggled into the man. His eyes closed and he tried to will away everything, driving his mind blank. The sobs that had assaulted his body subsided and only choked whimpers slipped past.
Sebastian muttered softly to Ciel, trying to make the younger male relax. He could feel all the muscles in Ciel’s body quiver with each shuddering breath he took and Sebastian nipped lightly at Ciel’s ear.
It took several minutes before Ciel found any sort of relief. Somewhere between the endless tears and his shaking form, Ciel found solace within Sebastian’s embrace. He breathed in deeply and settled himself into the warmth that had been offered. With tired movements, he turned within Sebastian’s arms, their chests pressing together and Ciel’s face burying into the older man’s neck.
A low hum left Sebastian’s throat as his arms readjusted themselves against Ciel’s back. His hand came up to thread through black locks and Sebastian tilted Ciel’s head back slightly. Lips sought Ciel’s, hoping that that the intimate action would help to chase away not only Ciel’s solemn thoughts, but Sebastian’s as well.
Ciel accepted the gesture, pushing into the kiss and tasting the rain and sweat of the day. The shirt beneath Ciel’s fingers was soft, made of high quality cotton. He didn’t care much, as his nails dug into the material, if it ripped or not. In that moment Ciel was finding it so much easier not to care.
“I love you, so damn much,” he said between kisses.
Sebastian’s hands cupped Ciel’s head, holding him still for a moment. His red eyes searched blue ones, falling into the alluring pull without fear. “I love you, Ciel.” He pulled the younger male back down for another deep kiss. When they broke apart, panting slightly, Sebastian pressed one more chaste kiss on Ciel’s lips. “More than you will ever know, I love you.”
For the countless time that night, tears spilled from Ciel’s eyes, only these were of a different sort altogether. There was none of the sadness clouding them, just joyous relief for what Ciel had in life. And above all else, the love he had from Sebastian. He kissed the man fiercely on the lips, cheeks, nose, neck and then back to deeply claim that tasteful mouth.
Steady hands held Ciel to Sebastian’s body, making sure that the younger male wasn’t about to go anywhere. Right now, Sebastian craved that more than anything. He wanted to feel Ciel’s body pressed against his. He needed to feel Ciel’s beating heart pulsing in his chest and his breaths coming heavy from his mouth.
Each action helped to remind Sebastian that Ciel was still alive. That he was here and not someplace else that was out of reach from him. Each beat that Sebastian felt and every breath that fanned across him made Sebastian press harder into Ciel’s body. He licked the salty tears away, trying to clean every last drop off the face he loved and cared for so much.
Ciel felt as if Sebastian would succeed in pulling him into the older man’s body. Sore muscles and open wounds protested, but the complaints never left Ciel’s mouth. Each prickle of agony, every shock of pleasure alongside throbbing heartbeats served as a reminder of the lives they had. The lives they shared together. Hands strayed from Sebastian’s chest to fist into black hair. They met again, smashing lips against lips -- noses becoming unneeded distractions, breathing becoming out of the question.
When they finally broke apart, soft pants fell from their mouths and Sebastian started to press light kisses over Ciel’s face, brushing first over Ciel’s nose, then his cheeks, followed by his eyelids, and finishing on the center of Ciel’s forehead. His lips lingered there for a moment longer before Sebastian pulled back, his eyes locking with Ciel’s.
Their heartbeats slowed as they continued to watch each other, the adrenaline leaving their bodies with each beat of the heart. Sebastian’s hand rose, brushing away a stray strand of hair that had fallen across Ciel’s face. Once the piece of hair was gone, his fingers brushed over the soft skin, coaxing Ciel to relax even more.
“I’m tired,” Ciel said after a moment. His eyelids were fluttering as he fought to keep them open. Tears dried to his face and Ciel rubbed them with the back of his hand as he yawned.
Sebastian nodded. “I’ll still be here in the morning,” he promised. “Go to sleep.”
He watched as the blue eyes struggled to stay awake a little longer before they finally closed and Ciel slipped into a dreamworld. Or so at least Sebastian could only hope they were dreams and not nightmares after today.
Untangling himself from Ciel’s body, Sebastian carefully lifted the younger male up and off the floor. Ciel was still nude and in need of some place more comfortable to sleep other than the hard wooden floor. Padding out of the room and into the storage space at the top of the parlor, Sebastian slowly set Ciel down on the air mattress.
Boxers were slid up Ciel’s legs before Sebastian maneuvered Ciel’s body fully onto the mattress. The blankets were tucked around Ciel and Sebastian circled around to the other side of the bed, taking a seat on the edge.
His shirt was discarded and tossed to the side and Sebastian reached over to shut the light off. Once the room was bathed in darkness, his shoulders slumped and his hand reached came up to press against his face, struggling against all the emotions that he had held back.
The emotions came anyway, despite the weak barrier and Sebastian’s head tilted back to stare up at the ceiling as he let the pain claw at his chest. Behind him, Ciel stirred briefly and Sebastian quickly wiped at his face before looking over his shoulder.
His name was slurred and Ciel’s hand reached out for him, searching for his body. With a faint smile, Sebastian slid under the covers and pushed his body up against Ciel’s. “Sleep,” he murmured, feeling Ciel’s body relax once more at the touch.
And Ciel slept, long and deeply. His breathing evened out and the young man became lost in his own world of dreams and nightmares. For that night, he only had one dream of being on an island where it was only himself in a lonely little world. In such a place there was no need to mourn the lost when there was nothing to lose in the first place. Yet who knew that never having could hurt far worse then once having had. It was the memories of lost things that mended and sewed a broken heart with time. And Ciel clung to those memories, never wanting to let go.
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[Part Two]
