[fic] The Devil's Canvas [chapter Fifty]

[akiruchan]

Title: The Devil's Canvas
Chapter: 50/?
Authors: Akiru chan & Disgruntled Minion
Pairing/Characters:  Sebastian/Ciel
Rating: M
Summary:
Ciel's skin was marred with ink and
blood, telling tales twisted in darkness.
What an evil path the devil walks, tainted hands
staining the innocent canvas. For the most
beautiful art is painted in blood.
Warnings: Violence, adult content, yaoi, and language.

Chapter Fifty

A hoarse scream left Ciel’s mouth as he jerked up in bed, his chest thrumming with every gasped breath and heart fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird. Eyes wide and terrified, Ciel looked on in darkness seeing nothing and fearing all the more for that. He searched frantically, hands shaking as he sought out his comfort.

The bed was big, far too big for his liking anymore. “Se--Sebastian,” he called, voice cracking with unshed tears.

Gentle hands reached out for Ciel, pulling him closer to the warm body. Sebastian’s voice was soft as Ciel pressed up against him, and he murmured sweet nothings to the younger male while his fingers brushed through Ciel’s hair. It was now a routine to wake up at least once or twice in the middle of the night to Ciel screaming, and Sebastian made sure that he was there to comfort the younger male through each nightmare.

“I’m here,” he muttered, lifting Ciel’s face up so he could focus on him.

Ciel buried his face into Sebastian’s neck, inhaling the scent. Tears stung at his eyes, and he let them fall to wet Sebastian’s heated skin, making him taste salty upon Ciel’s lips. But it was a comfort, and Ciel took relief in that.

The nightmares had begun a week after they had moved back into the comfort of their room. Life had started once more, and their bloody little world had come to life just as it had been before everything had come crashing down. Everyone had come to visit, Ann being the most frequent, most likely making up for lost time. She hadn’t asked what had happened, and Ciel had assumed Tanaka had to do with that. But it was of little importance, and had nothing to do with the nightly terrors Ciel faced. The catalyst had been a fluke, a chance meeting in a hallway.

Ciel had been stretching and working out his hip as Will had instructed, using a cane which he abhorred. He felt like an old man. There had been a commotion, men yelling and a distinctly female voice which Ciel had recognized as Carmella. No words could be made out with how interwoven they had been, but they had drawn Ciel towards them against his better judgement. He’d rounded the corner, and in a second had wished he had never left his room to begin with. There, in the middle of the hall, Joker was being forced down as he struggled and cursed.

From the looks of things, he was being moved from one of the higher level interrogation rooms, and back to the holding cells in the basement. It had mattered little to Ciel at the moment as he’d stared on in horror at a beast he had believed to be dead. Joker had yelled again, shaking Ciel from his shock. A woman, small and petite, blocked Ciel’s line of sight, as he now only stared at the back of her head. He had never seen her before. She looked young, even with her hair so blond it looked almost white with age. It was evident that she knew Joker with the way she spoke and the way he acted with venomous intent, but Ciel had not stayed long enough to confirm it.

Soon he was running through the halls, his hips flaring with pain that went ignored as he took the stairs two at a time. Sebastian had been in the room as Ciel rushed in, a shaking mess of frightening and violent memories that he had thought he’d forgotten. It was that night that everything began, every bad dream leaving him gasping and crying out to the only man who could save him. Sebastian was always there, always by his side, and Ciel only found himself fearing the day that that would not be the case.

Tonight’s dream had been no different. He had been restrained, back in that tiny room as hands clawed and tore and touched every inch of him in the darkened hell. There had been no pain, only fear for when it would come and what would become of himself and Sebastian, because Sebastian was always there. Dead, alive, half gutted and torn, and a million other scenarios always ending in some unsightly way. It wasn’t long before Ciel feared his sleep and often refused to fall into it until he was given no other choice.

Sebastian didn’t ask what the dream was about, choosing instead to simply hold Ciel tightly against his chest. The only thing that would bring about closure for Ciel was Joker’s death and for now, they couldn’t do that. They were still in the recovering process and while they were up and walking around, other mental and physical hurdles had to be crossed before they could take care of Joker.

“You’re home, Ciel,” Sebastian finally spoke, rocking their bodies back and forth slowly. “You’re not in that place anymore. Not anymore, not ever.” He felt Ciel shudder against him, and Sebastian leaned down, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss while his hand grasped Ciel’s. It was brought up to his chest and pressed over the spot where his heart beat strongly, letting Ciel feel that he was indeed still alive.

It helped to calm Ciel as his eyes dried and his heart lulled itself back into a steady beat. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, as he did every time a nightmare awoke both himself and Sebastian. Ciel felt bad for pulling Sebastian into all of this, when it was only Ciel’s feeble mind that could not put the past to rest. “I’ve become a nuisance, haven’t I?”

Sebastian shook his head quickly. “No. If you weren’t having these nightmares, I’d be concerned, and it would only be a nuisance to me if you were hiding them from me.” He nuzzled Ciel’s neck, pressing a soft kiss there. “Don’t try to keep them from me because you think it’s bothering me.”

Ciel managed a snort as he came back to himself and awoke fully, free from any terror that still held him. “It would be hard to hide these from you considering you sleep right next to me. Screaming in your sleep really isn’t considered normal, and I don’t think I could pass it off as the result of a wet dream or anything.” He leaned heavily into Sebastian, his body exhausted but not wanting to sleep just yet. Not with his nightmare still so fresh in his mind.

“You don’t have to wake up screaming in order for it to be considered a nightmare,” Sebastian answered softly. “Waking up panting for breath, covered in sweat from a nightmare is just as bad as screaming yourself awake.”

“No, but my point is I don’t think I could hide it from you,” Ciel said with a quiet huff as he wormed his way back down under the blankets. A quick glance at a clock told him it was only a little after three, still plenty of night to be had.

Sebastian shook his head. “Just don’t feel as though you have to,” he stated, pulling the blankets back over his body as well. His cast felt large and bulky still, and he couldn’t wait to get it off. It made it hard to hold Ciel, something that he didn’t like, but it still didn’t stop him from pressing his body against Ciel’s.

Ciel’s legs stretched out, pushing into Alex who was curled at the end of the bed, oblivious to the world. He curled them around her and got himself comfortable next to Sebastian, hoping the man’s presence would help to give him some hours of sleep. Walking around the mansion like a zombie was unbecoming and anything but pleasant. He had already knocked into various people, most not pleased with the collision. Tanaka had even slapped him over the head with the newspaper he had been carrying at the time.

With his eyes closed, Ciel tried to will himself back to sleep, but with little luck. It didn’t help matters that tomorrow promised to be unpleasant. Ciel was due for another check up. Usually such things were annoying just for the fact of having to put up with Will and sometimes Grell, unless Ron was around to help out for the day. Tomorrow would not be one of those days. Will was planning on removing the bandages under Ciel’s eye-patch, and it would be then that the extent of the damage would be know.

Ciel hadn’t seen his eye since the day he had looked at himself in that grungy mirror at the gas station. It had looked bad then, and Ciel couldn’t bring himself to believe it looked much better. His sight was another issue, and something Ciel wasn’t keen on thinking too hard about at the moment.

Sebastian’s face pressed further into Ciel’s neck, inhaling the younger male’s scent before allowing himself to relax. His own sleep pattern was affected as well, due to Ciel’s nightmares and his own, but it was something that Sebastian kept from Ciel. Ciel was dealing with his own hell and it seemed unfair to thrust Ciel into Sebastian’s.

A low murmur left his lips as Ciel shifted in the bed and Sebastian’s free hand lightly stroked down Ciel’s back, hoping to ease him into sleep. Tomorrow was a long day for them both and sleep would only help the day go by faster.

-------

“Ciel!” Ann’s voice boomed through the small breakfast area as she pushed her way through the doors to see her nephew sitting at the rounded table, Sebastian by his side. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” She sighed, moving to take a seat across from the duo, giving them their space.

Blue eyes regarded her, not entirely surprised to be seeing her so early in the morning. If noon could be considered early. She had been keeping a close eye on Ciel since Tanaka had let her visit. He couldn’t be sure of what story she had been fed, but Ciel could only imagine that whatever it had been, it did little to curve her worry. If his aunt had ever had a ‘mother hen’ mode, this was surely it.

“I haven’t been hiding from you. I’ve been here since eleven,” he said as he took a bite of his french toast.

“Exactly,” she stated. “Your check up is in ten minutes and I will not have you skipping out on it.” There was a determined look in her eyes that clearly spoke of her desire to make sure that Ciel made it to the appointment.

Sebastian chuckled as he set his cup to the side. “You have nothing to fear, Madam. I was planning on getting him to the check up on time.” He glanced up at her. “Whether he likes it or not though, is a different story.”

She eyed him cautiously. “And you’ll be there the whole time with him?” She asked, wanting to make sure that Ciel wouldn’t have to face the ordeal alone.

“The whole time,” Sebastian assured her.

“No.” Ciel’s voice was firm, and caught the attention of both Ann and Sebastian. They looked on with mild confusion, and Ciel cleared his throat. “No, I’ll go alone. I don’t need my hand held.”

Ann scoffed, clearly finding the statement alone to be childish. “Don’t be silly. You haven’t gone to one check up alone yet, so why start now?”

Sebastian squeezed Ciel’s hand. “You don’t have to face this alone or put on a brave face just for the sake of wanting to look strong.” He leaned in closer so only Ciel could hear his words. “I know how much you dislike the subject of your eye,” he said lowly.

“Leave it be, Sebastian,” Ciel hissed, his eye flashing with warning. “That has nothing to do with it.” It was a lie. Ciel knew it, Sebastian knew it, and he was sure his aunt knew is as well. It mattered little what they thought. He needed to face this alone without worry of Sebastian’s feelings on the subject. In time, and when Ciel was ready, he would face Sebastian’s reaction to the state of his eye, but not now, not today.

“Very well,” Sebastian answered and let go of Ciel’s hand. It was something Sebastian wasn’t going to push when it was obvious that Ciel didn’t want him there. He stood up, picking up the plates and cups that they had used for a late breakfast. “If you’re so adamant about it, your appointment is in five minutes.”

“Shit.” The chair squeaked harshly against the tiled floor as Ciel leaped up, cursing some more when his hips protested with a violent throb. He paused, breathing hard as he waited for the pain to settle. Being crippled in such a way was less than satisfactory, but it would heal and it would be just as it had before he had been shot. Ciel’s eye on the other hand would never be the same. Even if he could see a little out of it, it would still be useless in the end.

Sebastian watched him go, staying silent even after the younger male left. It wasn’t the most ideal way to handle the subject, but Sebastian wasn’t about to argue with Ciel on it. It was Ciel’s choice and it was something Ciel wanted to handle by himself, although he knew that Ann was less than happy with his decision to let Ciel go on his own.

The woman was glaring daggers at him, her eyes speaking volumes. “You’re not even going to be there to help him?” She seethed. “Just let him go and face the facts all by himself? I thought you cared about him.”

The dishes were set in the sink and Sebastian regarded her calmly. “I do care about him. But Ciel’s eye is a touchy subject for him, one that he doesn’t like to talk about, even with me.” The water was turned on and Sebastian rinsed the plates. “My being there would only make things worse.”

“So you say, but I have a hard time believing that’s what Ciel wants. He’s a headstrong boy. Loves to put on a strong front, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need someone to lean on.” Ann looked at the wooden table as she talked, voice firm and steady. “I don’t know all of what happened, and I don’t think I want to know. But whatever the case, it is hurting him and he needs comfort. If I could give it to him, I would, but it isn’t me he wants by his side right now.”

Sebastian shook his head. “He doesn’t want me in that room, but I’ll be there to comfort him as soon as he gets out. He’s scared to know the truth, but even more scared to know my thoughts about it.” The dishes were set aside and Sebastian dried his hands off on his pants. “I can understand his fear, but it’s uncalled for. Nothing will make me turn him away.”

Ann nodded her head. “I would hope not. I’d have to kill you if you left him.” She was smiling, but the threat was clear in her eyes. Ciel was still her precious nephew, and Ann would not stand to see him hurt. For now though, she could only hope for the best.

Sebastian’s lips twitched and he inclined his head. “If I was as foolish to do such a thing, I would hope that you would inflict some sort of damage to my person. But you have nothing to fear; I won’t abandon him.” He moved around Ann and offered a small smile before making his way out of the kitchen. He wanted to be there for Ciel when the younger male left his check up, ready and willing to do anything to help him.

-------

Anxious feet swung back and forth over the examination table Ciel sat upon. He gripped the edges tightly, knuckles turning white. To say he was nervous was an understatement, and a part of him was regretting coming here alone. Will was in a far off corner, ignoring Ciel in favor of collecting his instruments that he would need. It only helped to put Ciel more on edge as he sat waiting, thinking over everything that was to come.

“Will you hurry,” Ciel snapped, his temper flaring.

Will turned to regard Ciel silently before finally padding over to the examination table. The tray was set on the rolling table next to him, and Will pulled on some gloves. “Nothing ever came from impatience,” he stated and leaned forward slightly. “I’m going to take the bandages off, and you will open your eye today. Do you understand?”

Ciel frowned. “I do speak English. I think I understand quite well,” he quipped, not in the mood for Will or his ill attitude. The idea of opening his eye didn’t make matters any better, and he gritted his teeth.

“I just want to make sure that you understand that I’m not letting you leave without having examined your eye,” Will answered and reached forward to untie the bandages. They loosened slightly before he started to unwrap them from Ciel’s head, revealing pale skin bit by bit.

The eye was kept firmly shut, Ciel not allowing it to flutter open even as the muscles around his eye twitched in protest. His heart thrummed, and he swallowed thickly. “I understand,” Ciel mumbled and turned his head away from Will, trying to put some distance between himself and the doctor.

The bandages slipped away, allowing Will to take in Ciel’s face for the first time since the younger male had woken up from his brush against death. Ciel had been changing the bandages himself, making sure that the area received fresh air, but hadn’t opened it yet. Carefully, he brushed his finger over the skin, feeling for any heat or any other signs of infection that Ciel might have missed.

The skin was cool to the touch, though, and the thin cut where the whip had damaged the skin was healing nicely. Some time in the sun and more fresh air would allow it to heal without a scar. “I’m going to have you open your eye now,” Will said carefully and pulled his fingers away.

“Now?” Ciel questioned, looking slightly taken aback. He had expected a little more attention to the cut, before Will asked anything involving his eyesight. Ciel wasn’t even sure if he could open it, having kept it closed for so long.

Will nodded. “Yes, now. The cut is healing nicely, and there’s no need to bother it. Your eye, though, is the one thing we’re unsure of and it would be best to find out now.” He adjusted his glasses. “If you will.”

It took only one steady intake of breath and Ciel calmed his racing heart, opening the injured eye with a deliberate slowness. The eyelid ached, but it was dwarfed by what Ciel saw, or the lack thereof. Suddenly, it felt as if Ciel could not breathe, nor could he think. His right eye saw nothing more than black and a wash of undistinguished colored shapes from his peripheral vision.

Ciel was blind. It was as simple as that.  

“Blink a few times for me,” Will instructed, watching as the eyelid fluttered slightly. It was to be expected that the muscles were weak from lack of use, but there was something else there that was making it harder for Ciel to blink. It made Will pause, and he glanced up at Ciel. “What do you see?”

When Ciel spoke, his voice was dead. “Black, a few colors... Nothing that is of any importance.” He blinked a few more times as if hoping to wash the blackness away like blinking away an eyelash. Perhaps he could just wipe away the darkness to reveal the world hidden behind it. It didn’t help that he still had his left eye; the contrast between the two only gave him a headache.

Will nodded. “Close your other eye for me and try to focus this eye,” he said and picked up a chart so he could scribble some notes onto it. The damage seemed far worse than what they were hoping for, but if Ciel could see some colors, then it wasn’t the worst case scenario. He had been hoping that Ciel wouldn’t be able to focus on long distance items or nearby items, but that hope had gone out the window when Ciel said he could only see a few colors.

“What’s the point?” Ciel bit out. “I can’t see anything. I’m fucking blind. You don’t need to confirm it to me anymore than I already know.” Already he was hopping down from the table, grabbing at his eye patch and trying to tie it hastily back into place.

“Sit down,” Will said sharply. “You don’t know until you try. Your eye has been covered and closed for weeks, and the pupil is still trying to adjust to the light, which is probably why you’re only seeing black and a few minor colors. If you give up now, you’ll only allow yourself to believe that you’re truly crippled.”

Ciel firmly stood his ground. The eye patch was removed, and he tried to focus his eyes on Will, but the black smudge in his vision was a hindrance that Ciel could not ignore. “What good is seeing colors when they are only in my peripheral? What fucking good will that do me?” Ciel knew he was being unreasonable, but the only change in his eye was the black shifting to a dark grey. Everything became all the blurrier as tears welled, and he tried to keep them at bay. He would not let Will, of all people, see him cry.

Will set the clipboard to the side. “Seeing out of your peripheral is just as important as seeing things in front of you.” He walked closer to Ciel and raised his hand up, waving it alongside Ciel’s face. The younger male jerked his head away at the action, and Will smirked. “That is why your peripheral is so important.”

“But the eye is more of a distraction than a help. It doesn’t mesh with my working eye, and I can’t focus on anything fully with them both open.” Ceil seemed to have grown into a grim acceptance, his voice even and reserved. What else could he do? Nothing was changing this, no matter how much he wanted to curl into himself and cry. His tears still beaded in his eyes, but he forced them away the best he could.

“I understand that,” William answered. “And so long as you understand that just because you have this injury doesn’t mean you’re a cripple. It will only hinder you as much as you let it. As soon as you and Sebastian are fully healed, then I will allow you two to train again, and you can be shown how to shoot with your other eye.”

Ciel opened his mouth, but closed it soon after. There was no use arguing, since he wouldn’t be able to change Will’s opinion on this matter. He understood that he wasn’t exactly a cripple, but he did have a disability. No matter how you sugar coated it, Ciel knew that his eye would be of little help in the future to come. As of now, it was only a hindrance, and it left him feeling uneasy.

“Just do what you need to do. I want to go.” Ciel had had enough of this.

Will grunted but grabbed his tools from the table and went to work. The eyelid was lifted carefully, and the small flashlight illuminated Ciel’s eye before moving away from the younger male. There was a small amount of scarring on the cornea which was causing the distortion, and nothing could be done about it.

“I have all the information I need,” Will stated and gestured to Ciel’s leg. “Make sure you keep stretching it out everyday and walking so it’ll strengthen. Other than that, I have nothing more to tell you.”

Nothing more was said, and Ciel hurried to tie his eye patch in place and move from the infirmary. He could feel Will’s eyes on him as he moved swiftly to the door, letting it slam behind him with a resounding smack. Ciel heard little of the noise, his back hitting the wall as he took a moment to collect himself. The answers had been given to him, and they were as bad as he had been expecting. To be blind, even in only one eye, was such a loss. It was hard to even begin to think how he would compensate, let alone what Sebastian would think. He didn’t need the man babying him any more than he currently was with the constant string of nightmares.  

Ciel swallowed thickly, his throat tightening with the force of his emotions. Every part of him felt as if it were falling to pieces bit by bit. He tried to hold himself together, but all the good it did him was to send him onto the floor to hug his knees. It was there that the final piece broke, and the stream of tears was left to flow freely. Ciel no longer cared. What point was there when so much had been taken from him? His eye, his peace of mind, even his nights had been stolen. Yes, he had Sebastian, but he worried if soon that too would be beyond his reach. What good would a cripple be in helping? How could he be worthy of Sebastian’s love and protection if he could not return it in kind? So for that, Ciel wept.

“Ciel,” a voice called softly. Ciel flinched at the tone, making Sebastian frown even more as he knelt in front of the younger male. He had seen the look on Ciel’s face as soon as he’d left the room and had known that the news wasn’t good. His suspicions were only confirmed when Ciel broke down soon after, not even realizing that Sebastian was standing further down the hall.

Sebastian’s knees brushed against Ciel’s as he leaned forward and wrapped his arm around Ciel’s shoulders. He pulled the younger male toward him, holding him tightly and simply letting Ciel cry. Words wouldn’t reach Ciel right now, and Sebastian held his tongue for later, when they were in the privacy of their own room. There, Ciel could lash out as much as he wanted, and Sebastian would take all the anger and hate until Ciel felt better.

The kind gesture was unwelcomed, or so Ciel wanted to think. He didn’t want the comfort, but he needed it far too much. Tears soaked his cheeks and made the fabric of Sebastian’s shirt damp. Ciel only pressed his face further into the hard chest before him, focusing on the soft lull of Sebastian’s heart. It was infuriating to be crying like this, especially in front of Sebastian. After everything they had been through, Ciel thought that he would become strong because of it. How ironic that it would be the exact opposite. Ciel felt weaker than ever, his emotions no longer under his control. It was sickening, and Ciel was growing a deep hatred for it all.

Ciel bit back the tears as best he could, and tried to push away. “I’m fine,” he said, although he was anything but. Why he even bothered to say it was beyond Ciel. Perhaps he only wished to ease Sebastian’s worry, or it was simply what Ciel wished to believe himself.

Sebastian shook his head and pulled Ciel closer to him. “I don’t believe you,” he stated and looped his arm under Ciel’s bottom. Struggling slightly, he stood up, Ciel’s legs moving quickly to wrap around his waist. His legs trembled under the added weight, but Sebastian pushed the thought aside as he started to walk. “I don’t know why you try to hide things from me. I can see right through you.” It was a goad, an attempt to make Ciel angry with him so he could properly vent his emotions instead of bottling them up inside.

“I’m too big for this,” Ciel said, ignoring everything else as he wiped some tears away. “You’re treating me like a child.” But no complaint to halt the act ever came. Ciel merely snuggled his head into Sebastian’s shoulder and hid his battered eye amongst the fringes of Sebastian’s bangs.

“I like treating you like this, spoiling you and whatnot,” Sebastian answered as they climbed the steps. He shifted Ciel’s weight on his arm once they reached the top and started walking once more. “Besides, you enjoy it.”

Ciel said nothing to deny this, but he did chuckle. How easily Sebastian could change his moods; it was truly remarkable at times. He could clear Ciel’s mind with little effort and put to ease his worries, even if just for the time being.

Sebastian paused outside their room, taking a moment to shuffle Ciel around so he could open the door. It was done awkwardly, and he could feel Ciel laughing in his arms, making Sebastian tilt his head to the side so he could nip at Ciel’s ear.

“You could put me down. I’m sure this looks wonderful with you having a broken arm. Or shall I just consider you my manservant from now on?” Ciel teased, leaning away so that another nip couldn’t be had at his ear. The first one had pinched, not that he minded all that much. It was playful and helped ease the trepidation and nervousness that had begun to settle in.

Ciel was set down on the bed, and Sebastian shook his arm, working the circulation back into the cramped limb. “I am but your simple servant,” he teased and knelt down before Ciel. He smirked slightly at the younger male before his face grew serious, and he reached forward to cup Ciel’s cheek. “What did Will say?”

It was expected for Ciel to flinch away, especially with Sebastian’s hand so close to his blind eye. He didn’t want to venture into all of this so soon. Already he was aching for the carefree air that seemed to have disappeared altogether. “He didn’t need to say anything,” Ciel said lowly, not meeting Sebastian’s eyes with his own. “It wasn’t hard to figure out the diagnosis myself.”

Sebastian hummed. “And what’s running through your mind now?” He asked, his hand resting on Ciel’s knee. He knew he was pressing close to dangerous territory, but Ciel had to face this, and Sebastian was ready to pull it from the younger male. “What are you thinking inside that devious little mind of yours?”

“Do you honestly want to know, Sebastian?” Ciel snapped, his only eye looking hard at Sebastian. “Do you want to know how fucked up everything seems to be? How hopeless I feel, how useless?” Each word was spat with more venom than the last. “Why don’t you just take a look. I know that’s what you want. I don’t even care anymore.”

The words stung slightly, but Sebastian let them wash over him without a wince. The single blue eye glared at him, anger and hate swirling in it, but Sebastian ignored it as he reached up to tug at the strings that held the eye patch. Ciel jerked slightly but held still as the patch fell down to rest on his lap, leaving Sebastian to see the damage for the first time.

“Better,” he murmured and ran his thumb under Ciel’s eye. It was a lighter shade than the other eye, and the scar on the cornea mixed together with the already blue color made Ciel’s pupil look violet. “You look the same to me, despite what you may see or think of yourself. And if you believed that you are now crippled, then you’re insulting my skill at training you.”

“I’m blind, Sebastian.” Ciel looked away, hating what he saw or more so what he couldn’t see. “It’s no insult to you, it’s merely fact. Yes, I’ll be able to compensate with practice or whatnot, but that will never change the fact that this will forever be a weakness.”

Sebastian frowned, knowing that the words were right. It was best to have both eyes when working in the field, and only having one would put Ciel at risk. “I’ll be your eyes,” Sebastian murmured. “We’re partners through and through, and you’re as strong as your partner is.”

Ciel opened his mouth, about to say something along the lines of, ‘but you won’t always be with me,’ and even though Ciel did not mean it in any ill way, he still shut his mouth tightly. There was no need to think of such things. No doubt times would come when Ciel would have to act on his own once more, without Sebastian, but for now he could not bear to think of it. Not when he had almost lost Sebastian, and so recently as well.

“How horrible does it look?” The question came without Ciel meaning it to. Such things as looks shouldn’t have been important, but Ciel couldn’t help but wonder. He had seen the forming scar, but Will had assured him that it would fade and be unnoticeable with time. The eye itself was another matter. Ciel had seen the unsightliness that corneal scars could become during high school when he had taken a shop class. It was one way to frighten the students into wearing protective eyewear.

“Exotic,” Sebastian answered and leaned up to press a soft kiss to the fading scar under Ciel’s eye. “You think it looks bad, but it’s not as horrible as you may think. I like it,” he purred and leaned further into Ciel’s body. Heat passed between them, and Sebastian’s mouth trailed down to capture Ciel’s lips, wanting the younger male to understand that everything was okay.

There was no hesitation when Ciel pushed back to kiss Sebastian. He wouldn’t truly believe those words until he could see the eye himself, but for now that was enough. Everything else would come with time. Right now Ciel would enjoy what was now being offered, and only an idiot would turn down a kiss from Sebastian.

No tongues were offered up, not yet at least, and Ciel was allowed to find comfort in the affectionate pressing of lips against lips. His hands gripped at Sebastian’s shoulders and trailed down, until one hit the beginnings of the cast. Ciel pulled away, and frowned at the hard item. “When are you getting that thing off? I feel like either I’m going to hurt you because I knock it, or it’s going to hurt me.” The cast had already banged Ciel multiple times in the night, waking him out of a deep sleep as Sebastian slept on oblivious to the attack.

“Soon,” Sebastian answered and frowned down at the cast. Will had said about six weeks, and Sebastian was more than ready to remove the annoying thing. It was large and awkward, but most of all, it kept him from fully enjoying the feeling of Ciel against his body. “And you won’t hurt me.” Ciel was pulled down for another kiss, and Sebastian moaned lowly at the feeling of Ciel’s lips pressed against his.

Next week, after his cast came off, he was simply going to lie in bed with Ciel all day and hold him. Just to feel Ciel’s body against his and the strong heartbeat that thumped with life under Ciel’s skin.

“Not soon enough.” Ciel pressed into Sebastian, his mouth opening in a heated kiss. The things they could do as a couple were still limited, and it irked Ciel how many times they had to remind each other of it all. The injury to Ciel’s hip was still a burden, flaring up at the most impromptu times. Not being able to move his hips freely really did narrow down the things they could do. Sex was definitely out of the question, and it didn’t matter how it was done. Ciel had actually put much thought into that.

Tongues brushed over each other, drawing pleased noises from both of them as they continued to indulge. It had seemed like forever since they had last had this chance to simply taste each other and express their feelings through actions instead of words. And Sebastian wanted nothing more than to continue with their current activities, allowing Ciel to know exactly how he felt. That no injury was going to change Sebastian’s mind on how he felt for Ciel.

It lasted far shorter than either of them would have liked, Ciel pulling away and ending the tryst quickly when parts of his body began to grow far too interested with the current happenings. As fun as it was having an erection, it did little good when you couldn’t use it to its full potential.

“I don’t want to get carried away,” he said, looking a little miffed with his own statement.

“Soon, though,” Sebastian murmured and let his hands slip down to rest on Ciel’s hips before he stood up. His knees protested the action but he ignored them as he circled around the bed and sat next to Ciel. “We have time for a nap, if you’d like. You didn’t get much sleep last night, and it’s been a stressful day for you.”

“No, but I don’t feel like sleep. I feel as if I sleep now, I’ll only face another sleepless night.” Ciel sighed and retrieved his eye patch. “Not to mention I’m tired of being in bed. Especially when all the fun bed activities are out of the question.” Doing something else seemed like a good idea, but it was a matter of what there was they could do. Tanaka had forbidden them to leave the mansion, no doubt step one of their punishment. That left very few things for them to do considering the training rooms and armory were also off limits.

Sebastian hummed. “They have medicine for those types of things,” he commented lightly and gave a small push to Ciel’s chest, forcing the younger male to lay down. “It all depends on what you like to take.” His hand slowly slipped under Ciel’s shirt, brushing lightly over the pale skin.

A finely shaped eyebrow rose, but he did not buffer the hand. “And what sort of medicine do you have in mind? Surely not something that Will would scold us for.” There was mockery and joking to Ciel’s tone, as he cared little for what Will thought of what they did, even when the rational side of Ciel kept telling him to end this, whatever this was, before it started. Truth be told, Ciel was tired of playing it so safe when they were in the comfort of their own room. Whatever happened, Ciel knew both he and Sebastian would not let it escalate to the point where it could be harmful to their healing.

“The helpful kind,” Sebastian answered, and his fingers brushed over a nipple. They swirled over it, rubbing soft circles against the skin until the nipple hardened under his touch, and he pinched it gently. “Unless of course, you would rather avoid the medicine and stay awake until night falls tonight.”

Ciel found himself chuckling as he pushed forward into the touching. “I th-think,” he stuttered, the pinching of his nipples catching him off guard, “that I might prefer a nap. You are excellent at persuasion.” Fingers reached up and curled into the curtain of bangs that framed Sebastian’s face. Ciel often found them useful as a lead, pulling Sebastian’s face closer to his own so that he might indulge in another addicting kiss.

Their lips pressed together slowly and sensually, each enjoying the taste of each other, knowing that this would be the first time in months that they would be able to indulge in an act like this. Sebastian’s tongue swept at Ciel’s lips and moaned softly when the younger male opened his mouth. Tongues brushed over each other, and Sebastian felt Ciel’s hand tighten in his hair, a silent signal for more.

Ciel pushed up into Sebastian, pushing him back as Ciel leaned up on his elbows. They parted, and he panted for breath lightly. Blue eyes quickly met back with red, and he was surging forward again, fully seated once more and baring down on Sebastian as he hungrily kissed at the tempting mouth that was all his. It was sweet with an underlying spice that burned and tingled at Ciel’s lips as they swelled from the lovely abuse.

A soreness was developing in Ciel’s neck as he leaned down to kiss Sebastian, but Ciel didn’t care. He had no desire to move, nor to pull Sebastian back on the bed with him. There was a sort of submissive quality to Sebastian, having him kneeling between Ciel’s legs as Ciel sat high and mighty atop the bed. Now he would never tell Sebastian this, but it allowed Ciel some personal enjoyment.

The kiss broke, and Ciel discarded his shirt to reveal his bare chest. It was so different from what he remembered. Looking into a mirror was like looking at a stranger. The overall build was the same, slightly more toned and muscular, but nothing outwardly different there. It was always the scars that stole Ciel’s attention, seeing such things marring his skin like the silken strands of a spider’s web. The healing wounds had left angry red welts that would soon pale and be added to the composition of Ciel’s body. He supposed they were just as artfully aesthetic as the tattoos upon his back.

“I want you to tattoo me again,” Ciel said as he kissed each of Sebastian’s cheeks. He wanted to feel that needle upon his skin, buzzing and inking him with Sebastian’s will. It was arousing, intoxicating, and every bit as addicting as any drug. It was hard to believe that Ciel had once disdained the idea of staining his skin with the ink of a tattoo, but now it was a means to record his life by the touch of Sebastian’s hand; a way to hide the scars.

Sebastian hummed. “I can do that,” he stated, and his hand reached up to rest on Ciel’s leg, his fingers rubbing at the skin through Ciel’s pants. As soon as his arm was out of the cast, he could go back to the parlor and start working once more. There was a certain tattoo that he wanted to give Ciel, but he wasn’t sure if the younger male would want such a thing on his body. And at the same time, Sebastian wanted another one, too. “I need to take you as my apprentice,” he said, his hand slipping up to rest on the button of Ciel’s pants.

“You’ve mentioned that before.” Ciel helped as Sebastian fumbled with the button and zipper. It wasn’t an easy task with only one hand, although Ciel knew Sebastian could achieve it if given the chance. Unfortunately Ciel was not feeling patient at the moment, not when he suspected what was to come. His cock seemed to assume similar ideas as it twitched under the light brushes it received, becoming erect at the thought of what was next. “I’d like to try tattooing.” Ciel, feeling impish, pressed his foot into Sebastian’s clothed groin and petted the area with teasing pressure. “You’re hard,” he said, slightly surprised that Sebastian had become aroused so easily.

Sebastian smirked and tugged at Ciel’s pants. “Why shouldn’t I be? I have my deliciously hot lover in front of me, and he’s asking to go under my needle again.” His hand slipped away from the pants and circled around Ciel’s waist, pulling him closer to him. “And because it’s you. You never fail to bring such reactions from me.” He lowered his head and nipped lightly at the growing bulge in Ciel’s pants while his nails raked across Ciel’s back.

“I just didn’t know you were so easily turned on,” Ciel teased. “I do hope you’re not as easily spent.” He knew very well that that was not the case. Although given that it had been a good while since either of them had had any sexual pleasures, it wouldn’t surprise Ciel if neither of them lasted to their usual standards.

“Only by you,” Sebastian answered and pulled back so he could once again struggle with Ciel’s pants. He tugged at them and grunted when Ciel finally helped him remove the article of clothing that was keeping him from Ciel’s length. The pants and boxers were removed at the same time and dropped to the floor without care as Sebastian’s fingers circled around the semi-hard cock, his index finger lightly tracing the vein on the underside.

Ciel bit down on his lip, not yet letting himself give into the pleasure. He couldn’t afford to be loud, not when it was still so early in the day. The halls were active, people moving past their room could hear, and Ciel really didn’t feel like this getting back to Tanaka or William. “Hurry it up,” he urged, Ciel’s own foot pressing and rubbing at Sebastian’s covered cock as the man rolled his hips into the touches.

Sebastian smirked. “As you wish,” he murmured and lowered his head. His mouth opened to take in the tip, his tongue flicking over the head and swirling around it. A low hum left his mouth at the taste, and Sebastian bucked his hips up once more into Ciel’s teasing touches. It had been far too long since they had last been intimate, and the urge to claim Ciel was strong.

“I ho--hope you haven’t...lost your touch,” Ciel teased, egging Sebastian on. The feeling of a hot tongue upon him felt so deliciously alien. It had been far too long since Ciel had had any form of sexual stimulation, making everything feel new and exciting. He squirmed, the pleasure racing up his body and forcing him to thrust up into Sebastian’s mouth with the need for more. “A--ah!” Teeth scraped against his cock, and Ciel realized just how much he had missed this.

Sebastian didn't answer, choosing instead to let his actions speak for themselves. His jaw relaxed, and he slid lower, taking more of Ciel's length into his mouth until the tip tapped the back of his throat. Sebastian's eyes darted up as he swallowed, pleased with the moan that left Ciel's throat.

Each suck was quickly undoing Ciel, and he grew all the louder. The thought of people overhearing them was a distant concern, overshadowed by the need to drown himself in every little string of pleasure that Sebastian allowed him. A tongue dipped and curled into the tip of Ciel's cock, and his hips rolled up against the force, keeping him grounded onto the plush bedding. It was a frantic movement, born of need and lack of one’s touch for far too long.

Ciel felt like a virgin all over again, sprawled out on Sebastian's couch in the upstairs of the tattoo parlor. He could remember how this had all started, an innocent romance that Ciel thought was never to be. It all came about from shy innocence and molded into something far less sweet but all the more desirable.

"Se--Sebastian... More, I need more," Ciel pleaded between gasps and moans for a completion that was far too close. His foot moved against Sebastian all the while, the small action alone giving Ciel some leverage to thrust into the warmth of an inviting mouth.

Sebastian glanced up and slowly pulled away from Ciel’s hard length. “You’ll have to stay quiet,” he cautioned. A small part of him was worried that Tanaka would find out, and considering that it was their libido that had caused this whole mess, it wouldn’t be good if Tanaka caught wind of what they were doing. Ciel gave him a shaky nod and without further delay, Sebastian’s mouth descended once more on Ciel’s cock.

His tongue dipped and swirled around the straining length, making Ciel’s legs tremble on either side of his head. A low hum left Sebastian’s throat as he lowered his head more, taking Ciel in deeper, wanting to give the younger male even more pleasure.

Ciel’s hand swiftly went to his mouth, muffling the growing sounds with little result. They slipped past, like water through his fingers. A particularly loud moan, caused by a hard suck, had Ciel biting into his palm. It stifled the noises, and the pain only seemed to fuel his arousal. If his mind had been clear, Ciel might have chastised himself for such a reaction, but for now he was too intent on pressing his hips towards Sebastian’s mouth.

A hand rose and cupped Ciel’s sac, brushing over them lightly until Ciel was a trembling mess under Sebastian’s fingers. Thighs trembled as Sebastian continued to suck, determined to draw Ciel over the edge until he was nothing but putty in Sebastian’s hands.

A nip to the head of Ciel’s cock had him falling back on the bed. His toes curled, pressing harder into Sebastian as the movements of Ciel’s foot became mechanical against the clothed erection. The pace seemed to be determined by every lick and suck that Sebastian administered. Ciel’s hips lifted and thrust with purpose as the delicious pleasure coiled within him, and he felt the beginnings of a knot forming low in his gut. It wouldn’t take much longer for him to reach his orgasm, not with a hot tongue pressing too encouragingly against him.

“Sebastian, I ne--need... Ah!” Ciel promptly bit back on his hand, trying to keep his voice from escalating. It was harder than it seemed, and Ciel was finding it difficult not to let his sounds out.

A low hum left Sebastian’s mouth, the vibrations making even more moans spill from Ciel's mouth. Salty pre-cum coated Sebastian's tongue and his hands left Ciel's hips, letting the younger male thrust freely into his mouth.

There was never anything like being able to take such pleasure so freely. It wasn't as exhilarating as the few times that Sebastian had let Ciel top, but the knowledge that he was able to fuck Sebastian's mouth was enough. He was taking what he needed, and there was something arousing about that.

A harsh press of Ciel's foot to Sebastian's cock had a moan vibrating along Ciel's length. His back arched like a bow, and he bit harder into his hand. It would bruise, but Ciel wasn't concerned about it. Hopefully no one would inquire about it.

Sebastian relaxed his jaw as Ciel continued to thrust. His own hips pushed against Ciel's foot, his cock aching for friction. His own orgasm was close, and his body trembled. It had been too long since he had last felt this pleasure, and Sebastian ached.

His hand fondled Ciel's sac, squeezing and rubbing the tightly drawn sac, hoping to push Ciel over the edge.

The hand flew from Ciel's mouth to find purchase in the sheets around him. Ciel's fingers curled and pulled at the bedding as he fought to keep himself grounded. His mind raced, and his hips bucked wildly without thought.

Little 'ah's flew from his mouth, but they were quiet gasps. He was too out of breath to gain enough of a voice, leaving Ciel to vocalize his impending orgasm without much of a care. When he came, it was with a choked whine and a whisper of Sebastian's name. Each breath he took was quick and sharp as he felt Sebastian swallowing around him.

Sebastian's throat constricted, swallowing everything Ciel had to offer until the length was soft in his mouth. He gave it one final suck, drawing a soft moan from Ciel and pulled back slowly, lapping away any remaining cum that was left over. He glanced up at Ciel and smirked slightly, licking his lips.

"Did I lose my touch?" He asked

Ciel was limp. Not an inch of him moved, his foot still against Sebastian as he left him hard and wanting. A blue eye rolled to look at Sebastian, but it was a minute before Ciel could find his voice.

He grumbled something under his breath, a mish-mash of words that made little sense. Coughing, he tried again. "I've had better," Ciel said quietly, a smirk growing on his lips. "But I wouldn't say you were losing your touch."

"I aim to please," Sebastian purred and rubbed small circles over Ciel's hip before pressing a kiss to the pale skin. "Sleep though, you're tired and need the rest after today. I'll be here when you wake up," he murmured.

"But you're still hard," Ciel complained, moving more fully on the bed to gain a better look at the bulge in Sebastian's pant. It seemed Ciel was content to lie there and watch as the deed was done. Looking back on it, it was a rare day that Ciel got the pleasure of watching Sebastian touch himself so freely, let alone to bring himself to full release.

Sebastian's eyebrow arched slightly, noting that Ciel wasn't in any hurry to fix the problem. "I guess I'm going to be left to my own devices on taking care of it?" He questioned.

Ciel smirked devilishly. "I'd rather like that." His head fell back onto the pillow, as Ciel's blue eye continued to stay trained upon the covered erection. He could just imagine how red and swollen the cock was as it leaked pre-cum in its need for release. "Touch yourself." Ciel finally demanded after a moment of silence.

A small shiver worked its way through Sebastian's body at the demanding tone, and lust filled eyes met Ciel's. "You're rather demanding tonight," he stated but his hand lowered to his pants, popping the button after a small fight with the object.

"I haven't gotten the chance to order you around in a long while," Ciel said slowly, watching Sebastian work at his pants. "I need to make up for lost time." The head of Sebastian's cock pressed out from the confines of fabric and denim, a nice gleam across the head by the smear of cum. Ciel had to resist the urge to climb from the bed to lick it clean.

"You get off on this power high," Sebastian commented, his fingers circling around his cock. He hissed at the touch, and his hips bucked slightly, the friction making him shudder.

For a moment Ciel pretended to think it over. "Perhaps. Although I'm beginning to think you get off on it, too. Your cock seems to enjoy it at the very least." Ciel snorted at his own words, finding himself very humorous at that point. He blamed it on the lull of post orgasm.

A low hum left Sebastian's throat as he gave a firm stroke to his length, pleasure racing through his body. It felt so good to touch himself in such a way after going so long without it, and Sebastian couldn't wait to have his cast off and Ciel below him. Too much time had passed since their last round of sex, and Sebastian wanted to feel that closeness once more, to know that Ciel was still alive and well.

"Maybe I enjoy having you call the shots every now and then," he commented. "Telling me what I can and can't do, while you simply watch me submit to your every whim."

There was a faint stir of arousal within Ciel, but his body was far too tired and content for it to grow and escalate into a second go. He smiled ever so slightly, enjoying the thought that Sebastian’s words brought to him. Perhaps, when everything had returned to normal, they could venture into some kinks that they had left untouched. A little S&M never hurt anyone, Ciel thought.

“I like the sound of that,” admitted Ciel. “We could even use some toys. I’d like to see a collar around your neck and a ball gag in your mouth.” There was a pause as if he were thinking. It took only a moment before an evil glint shone in Ciel’s eye, and his face split with a smirk. “What’s your opinion on cock rings?”

Sebastian’s hand stopped moving, and he glanced at Ciel curiously, his eyebrow arched slightly. “For you, I think I like the idea very much,” he stated and his hand started to move again, stroking the hard flesh. Thighs trembled in pleasure as Sebastian gave his cock a small squeeze, and a soft moan fell from his lips.

Ciel made a face, his nose scrunching in a rather cute manner. “We weren’t talking about me, just what I could do to you. Would it make it any better if I ordered you to wear it? You could be my dog, my bitch.” A gleam of white could be seen as Ciel’s smirk spread wider to show his teeth, making him look rather pleased.

“You would like that, wouldn’t you,” Sebastian commented as his hips pushed up into his hand. “You would have me down on all fours, sitting at your feet with a collar around my neck, claiming me as yours. I’d be your dog, protecting you from whatever wishes to harm you. Is that what you want?” He asked, a smirk spreading across his lips.

“Yes. My faithful companion. If you’re a good boy, I might even let you fuck me after I’ve had my fun.” Ciel watched as pearly gleams of cum beaded at the cock’s tip. It was too much to resist, and at last Ciel rolled onto his stomach and wiggled to the edge of the bed. For a moment, he just watched as Sebastian’s hand worked himself closer to his completion.

Ciel then reached out, fingers pressing into the blushing head of the erection and gathering cum onto the tip of his finger. The action was accompanied by a sharp intake of breath from Sebastian, and Ciel looked up to meet eyes with him. They were slitted in pleasure, and he could only see a sliver of crimson. Slowly, Ciel brought the finger to his lips and licked it clean.

“Fuck,” Sebastian cursed as his head tipped back and his hand started to move faster. His body trembled and toes curled as the pleasure mounted, growing even more as Ciel’s thumb swirled around the head of his cock. “Would I have to call you master?” He panted, eyes opening slightly to look at Ciel.

The thumb pressed harder as Ciel thought. “I think I would like that, having you call me master within the bedroom.” It wasn’t so long ago that Ciel had detested the title, but this was a whole new context to use it in. “I should order you not to cum,” he said in the most devious of tones. “Would you beg your master for release?”

Sebastian shivered at the tone, knowing that this was something Ciel wouldn’t let go. It was an interesting idea, one that they had never really touched. The thought of calling Ciel master and being forced to submit in such a way was never really appealing to Sebastian, especially in the bedroom where titles were forgotten and they were equals. “You like this idea, don’t you,” Sebastian stated, his fingers brushing over Ciel’s.

“I do, but I fear I’m only teasing you more with all of this. Perhaps we should save this for more than a simple hand job?” Ciel’s hand retreated from Sebastian and was licked and sucked on in such a way that it mimicked Sebastian’s work on Ciel’s cock moments prior. “You taste good.” The taste of Sebastian’s cum was still an almost foreign taste to Ciel, but it was something he was slowly growing addicted to.

A low hum left Sebastian’s throat as he pushed the thoughts aside and turned his attention back to his cock. Soft moans and pants fell from his mouth, and his arousal only grew as Ciel watched him with hungry eyes. “Ciel,” he panted and thrust harder into his hand, feeling the pleasure curl and mount in his body.

Ciel reached out once more, wrapping his fingers around Sebastian’s hand to help him reach his orgasm. The pace was fast, and the hold was growing tighter as they both squeezed the cock with fervor. Just one look at Sebastian’s face and Ciel was finding it hard not to become fully aroused once more. His body was showing interest as it recovered from coming moments earlier, and Ciel tried to force the feeling away.

“Come for me,” Ciel commanded, hoping to end this before things turned rather sticky for the both of them.

A low groan left Sebastian’s mouth at the order, and he felt his body tense briefly before he came harshly, cum covering both of their hands and leaving Sebastian a trembling mess. He panted heavily as his shoulders slumped, feeling tired and worn out. His arm hurt slightly, but the pain was pushed away as he raised his hand up to Ciel’s mouth, offering the coated fingers to the younger male.

Ciel looked amused by the action. “How thoughtful of you to offer me such a treat,” he teased and lapped at the pleasingly bitter substance. Each slender digit of Sebastian’s hand was licked and sucked clean before Ciel moved to run his tongue over the expanse of Sebastian’s warm palm. Ciel’s own hand was cum covered as well, and he offered the mess to Sebastian, curious to see what reaction he would receive.

Sebastian’s tongue darted out to lap at Ciel’s fingers, cleaning each offered finger until they were free of cum. He nipped lightly at the pads of each finger before moving down, pressing soft, slow kisses to the palm of Ciel’s hand and to the inside of his wrist. Sebastian paused briefly over the fluttering pulse, letting his lips linger over the spot before moving away and letting Ciel’s hand go.

“You’re disgusting,” Ciel quipped playfully. He ignored the fact that he had sampled his own cum from time to time, but it only happened when he was caught in the moment. Or that was what he told himself.

“Hush,” Sebastian said with a small yawn and stood up. He pushed his pants and soiled boxers off his legs and moved over to the dresser so he could grab a new pair. Once dressed, he padded back over to the bed and settled down on the mattress next to Ciel. “Sleep,” he murmured and pushed Ciel back onto the bed.

The bed was soft, and Ciel went down easily as he snuggled into the comforter and pillows. “Now who’s the one being bossy?” He yawned, and felt far more tired than he had the previous night, and it was still only midday. It was possible that he wouldn’t sleep tonight if he napped now, but Ciel couldn’t bring himself to stay awake. After the nightmare last night, he had finally fallen into a blissfully ignorant state. Nothing existed to him aside from the here and now. All his problems were gone, and for a short time he would not have anything to worry over. Ciel was not going to forsake that so easily.

“It’s not bossy when I’m looking out for you,” Sebastian stated and moved to lie down next to Ciel. His own body was tired, and Sebastian sighed softly as he watched Ciel’s eyes close as the younger male finally drifted off to sleep. They both needed this, the sensual touches and the extra sleep. It helped to reaffirm their bond and served to remind each other that they were still there.

His hand settled over Ciel’s stomach, pulling the younger male closer. Once Ciel was close enough, Sebastian let his eyes shut as he too fell into a dreamless sleep.

To Be Continued . . .